Is it assertiveness, confidence, femininity, or voice infliction? I’m a Guy

[Josh]

Is it assertiveness, confidence, femininity, or voice infliction? I’m a Guy

I Need Help!? I’m a guy 18 years old and my girlfriend tells me when I speak to her it comes off feminine at times I think this maybe because I am so comfortable with her. The issue is my voice infliction and vocal connotation when I say things like “wow really?”, and when I get excited my voice mimics a feminine voice slightly . Now most girls say I’m not that feminine at all especially when I perform publically before crowds they say I come off very manly confident and assertive and I have very good control over voice tone. Often when we talk my girlfriend will tell me something to test my reaction. “Like this guy was flirting with me or touching me inappropriately, and I did nothing to stop him” and she often takes me saying “okay, why did you allow him to touch you. “As consent to say “you never stopped me, you said okay; you never said you don’t want him to touch me you just said okay”. This is a test of assertiveness and confidence as a person when I say okay I never mean okay it is like when people say whatever as if to say I won’t deal with that right now. My girlfriend often Trys to connect my voice inflictions with being feminine as to say “you come off as friend like and Gay your feminine tone comes from somewhere other than the women in your life”. I feel it is the fact that there are so many women in my family and I pick up their habits. I care but because it is a long distance relationship it seems she feels she can’t see/feel my desire to be her man. Finally I don’t think it is a problem with being opinionated but the problem is speaking more assertively with less feminine infliction what can I do? Hey if you apply to this message with a joke or comical response please follow up with a concrete explanation of your opinion. Thanks, God Bless

 

[JessicaAnne]

Re: Is it assertiveness, confidence, femininity, or voice infliction? I’m a Guy

ok, first, my boyfriend is 18 too and he does the same thing around me, i think when you're comfortable with a person, and with them for so long and for a large chunk of time through the day you mimic their connotations, so there's nothing wrong with you in that area if thats what you're worried about.
second, your girl just wants you to protect her, and she doesn't want you to be a jealous ass, but to actually show some reaction to when a guy touches her when she's supposed to be yours. I'm not telling you to knock the guy out, but jeez, a warning would suffice, and i am speaking from experience here.
And no offence but your girl seems like shes making fun of you for your voice connotations, i mean, if you are around women for a large part of your day, its only natural that you would pick up on their habits, i bet you clean up after yourself too dont you? Maybe shes insecure or maybe theres something on her mind, but i think you should talk to her about it.
and if she doesnt want you to be her man, than im sure your thinking would be the same as anyone elses, her loss, i think you've done all you can to please her.