Is he sincere.....or is it about sex?

[Sunshine]

We weren't "official" but dated for awhile, were intimate, and had feelings for eachother. I've never felt so comfortable with someone, he was great. Things got complicated when his ex gf moved back the city temporarily...he started backing off. After being intimate one night, confessed he still cared for her but she wasn't interested in him. That I'm amazing, deserve so much better. He left my apt. that morning and stopped talking to me.

He never ended things officially, just ignored me. His ex has since moved away. He's contacting me again. I gave in and explained my thoughts on how he acted, that it was selfish and unfair. He apologized saying he ruined a great thing with me, that he was confused and backed off because he figured i hated him. Admitted he behaved immaturely, takes all of the blame.

I know I shouldn't waste my time or even ask this question. I do deserve better. But it baffles me. What could he possibly be thinking-- Is it all about sex? Does he actually care?

Was it a mistake to respond to him?

 

[Me]

My ex bf was in a relationship with a girl for 3 years. They were living abroad. They split up, he came back home early and he met me 3 months later. We got together and a month later his ex gf came back home from abraod. They met up and ended up having sex. He told me he was confused. He said he liked her and he liked me. I backed off and so did he. But he did come back to me after a couple of weeks and told me he realized he wanted to be with me and that he was sorry and that I make him happy and he wants to be with me. I gave him a second chance and we were together for 9 years....

So, if you do like him, I'd say give him a chance. What happened to me is quite similar to your story. It doesn't mean the outcome will be the same, but he might really mean what he says. Make sure you take things slow and don't just concentrate on the sex. If you like each other and are happy to spend time together you should give him another chance.

 

[Becky J]

Exact thing happened to me. Some men, when they fall for a girl, she is in his heart for a life time. Some guys just can't get over an ex. I dated a guy for an entire year before I found out he was still in love with ex. He was totally stringing me along. If I were you, if you do really love him, I would definitely take it slow. The ball is in your court now since he screwed it up. So you can make the rules. Like, ok, I will see you but only as a friend and I will be seeing other people. Or, OK, will give you a chance but if I see evidence of foul play, I'm out, then you must follow through on your threats. Or, if you don't feel like he is truly over her, I wouldn't date him. The point is, he screwed you over so YOU are the one making the rules. Ask yourself honestly, what are you willing to accept from him. What do you really want?