When I have struggled with a particular sin, I have always treated this sin with great severity, and instituted what I can only describe as a self imposed penance or punishment that I have to complete in order to show God how seriously I take it.
I spoke to a priest (Anglican) and he decided that what I was doing was absolutely unusual and that confession both privately and in our open confession in the church, followed by repenting of the sin was what God wants as our response.
However I'm not sure. This penance is one in which I deny myself, tv, videogames, music I enjoy, etc. basically most things I enjoy for leisure for what used to be 2 weeks but I since felt that my obsessive compulsive disorder had made things go a bit out of control and is now about a week.
The penance has an upside - when I am very tempted to sin, it is a harsh reminder of the consequences that I will face immediately if I do. It has made me think again on a number of occasions.
The down side - it seems to ultimately postpone my sin, and although I commit this sin a lot less than I used to, it ultimately comes back. When I am very tempted I eventually concede that I'd rather accept the punishment and commit the sin, the temptation is that strong.
I want to just accept God's forgiveness and move on, but I feel like a) that doesn't take into account the severity of the sin and b) that I fear that I may commit it again knowing there is no temporal self imposed punishment. Or perhaps my mind may be focussed less on how it impacts my immediate life and more on how it impacts my relationship with God? As my guilt and upset has as much if not more to do with how much I miss my leisure time more than I've offended God.
I just want to make the right godly choice, the one He wants me to make.
Some advice would be incredibly welcome =)
Thank you.
I spoke to a priest (Anglican) and he decided that what I was doing was absolutely unusual and that confession both privately and in our open confession in the church, followed by repenting of the sin was what God wants as our response.
However I'm not sure. This penance is one in which I deny myself, tv, videogames, music I enjoy, etc. basically most things I enjoy for leisure for what used to be 2 weeks but I since felt that my obsessive compulsive disorder had made things go a bit out of control and is now about a week.
The penance has an upside - when I am very tempted to sin, it is a harsh reminder of the consequences that I will face immediately if I do. It has made me think again on a number of occasions.
The down side - it seems to ultimately postpone my sin, and although I commit this sin a lot less than I used to, it ultimately comes back. When I am very tempted I eventually concede that I'd rather accept the punishment and commit the sin, the temptation is that strong.
I want to just accept God's forgiveness and move on, but I feel like a) that doesn't take into account the severity of the sin and b) that I fear that I may commit it again knowing there is no temporal self imposed punishment. Or perhaps my mind may be focussed less on how it impacts my immediate life and more on how it impacts my relationship with God? As my guilt and upset has as much if not more to do with how much I miss my leisure time more than I've offended God.
I just want to make the right godly choice, the one He wants me to make.
Some advice would be incredibly welcome =)
Thank you.