UnsureWhatToDo
New member
Basically, without going into too much detail, my future husbands family do not like me. For varying reasons, its too in depth to go into.
My issue is that the MIL dropped into conversation that she is wearing a 'cream lace dress with a cream shrug' to our wedding in August this year, the big problem is that my own wedding dress is Ivory and it has detailing on it which isnt a million miles off lace. I have not seen the dress, I have no idea if its short or long, strapless or not. Due to the nature of the bad feeling between me and my FH's family, I don't know whether or not to ask her not to wear the cream lace dress.
On one hand, me and my partner are paying for the wedding ourselves. We both feel that the cream lace dress is not something we would be comfortable with the MIL wearing, given that I feel a mix of angry/hurt/sad that she has chosen a dress of a similar style to mine, I want to say something because I don't want to look back at my wedding pictures and get annoyed, or worse, not want to look at them because of that. Photographers don't come cheap and I don't want to end up hating the pictures because the MIL's dress almost matches mine!
On the other hand, its not about her, its mine and my partners day, so long as we get married then why should it matter. This is probably fuelled more by a fear that she will go mental and try and blacken my name further that she already has. She may well say no and wear it anyway, she may threaten not to come, or she may go mental if another guest (NOT in the bridal party) wears cream and I haven't 'told them off'.
I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place because I would never ever want my partner to be forced to chose between me and his mother, its not something that I would do, but I really wouldnt put it past her, I just dont want to cause him to be in the situation either directly or indirectly.
Other details are that my partners sister has decided that her 2 year old boy wont be taking part in the bridal party as she bought him a 'wedding suit', the rest of the male bridal party are wearing kilts including my sisters 3 year old son. My partners gran is wearing a red dress, my bridesmaids (sister and best friend) are wearing a kind of bright burgandy, so again thats fairly similar too.
Its all getting too much for me and I'm very close to changing the whole wedding, as in nobody goes and we elope, just me and him, and a couple of strangers as witnesses. That way there would be nobody to 'please'. I'm really at breaking point, I know that arranging a wedding isnt plain sailing but surely its not supposed to be this difficult?
Please HELP!!!
My issue is that the MIL dropped into conversation that she is wearing a 'cream lace dress with a cream shrug' to our wedding in August this year, the big problem is that my own wedding dress is Ivory and it has detailing on it which isnt a million miles off lace. I have not seen the dress, I have no idea if its short or long, strapless or not. Due to the nature of the bad feeling between me and my FH's family, I don't know whether or not to ask her not to wear the cream lace dress.
On one hand, me and my partner are paying for the wedding ourselves. We both feel that the cream lace dress is not something we would be comfortable with the MIL wearing, given that I feel a mix of angry/hurt/sad that she has chosen a dress of a similar style to mine, I want to say something because I don't want to look back at my wedding pictures and get annoyed, or worse, not want to look at them because of that. Photographers don't come cheap and I don't want to end up hating the pictures because the MIL's dress almost matches mine!
On the other hand, its not about her, its mine and my partners day, so long as we get married then why should it matter. This is probably fuelled more by a fear that she will go mental and try and blacken my name further that she already has. She may well say no and wear it anyway, she may threaten not to come, or she may go mental if another guest (NOT in the bridal party) wears cream and I haven't 'told them off'.
I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place because I would never ever want my partner to be forced to chose between me and his mother, its not something that I would do, but I really wouldnt put it past her, I just dont want to cause him to be in the situation either directly or indirectly.
Other details are that my partners sister has decided that her 2 year old boy wont be taking part in the bridal party as she bought him a 'wedding suit', the rest of the male bridal party are wearing kilts including my sisters 3 year old son. My partners gran is wearing a red dress, my bridesmaids (sister and best friend) are wearing a kind of bright burgandy, so again thats fairly similar too.
Its all getting too much for me and I'm very close to changing the whole wedding, as in nobody goes and we elope, just me and him, and a couple of strangers as witnesses. That way there would be nobody to 'please'. I'm really at breaking point, I know that arranging a wedding isnt plain sailing but surely its not supposed to be this difficult?
Please HELP!!!