Intro & request for help

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fishinwidow98

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Greetings!! :wave:

My name is Erika, I am a recovering addict clean for 9 years, 9 months, 28 days etc... My DOC was meth, cocaine etc...

I am super proud of what I have accomplished knowing dang good and well that a majority of meth addicts don't make it to this point. I sponsored in NA for 4 years as well.

In Septeraber of this year I had a MAJOR back surgery and was given several opiate pain meRAB. Since I got clean so long ago I have been on multiple meRAB for pain, on and off, and never had an issue or if I did start to notice triggers firing, I would ask for a different med. I am going to be on these meRAB for a good long while. I am slowly starting to notice the urgency changing though and it scares the crap outta me. I had a difficult time detoxing from the duragesic patch they had me on for a month post-op but it needed to be done. I explained to the doc that I am an addict and that I was concerned about the Percocet getting a hold of me but we both agreed that physically I do need it.

I just don't feel "right". My sponsor from 10 years ago recently od'd and I haven't been to a meeting in years. I don't know who to go to for support. I don't know if this is turning into a full blown addiction, I don't know what I should do, and I am afraid of this triggering other urges. Anyone have any suggestions ideas or support? I am totally lost worrying about throwing away 10 years sobriety but I am needing these meRAB... HELP! :dizzy:
 
Hello fishinwindow98,

You state that you are noticing the urgency change.

This is not necessarily a bad thing,as you have not begun to act upon it.

Both you and your prescribing physician are in agreement that you require these particular meRAB, to help control your physical pain,but it seems to be triggering you on a psychological level.

Could the recent OD of your sponsor from 10 years ago,on some level,be the cause(in whole or part)of your apprehension?

If the answer is no,then maybe a serious discussion with your physician is warranted. There are other meRAB available with a lower likelihood of becoming habit forming.

Since you are no stranger to the rooms of NA, might I suggest going to a meeting ASAP and sharing;it could do wonders and may be provide the key to unlocking the concerns you are experiencing.

Take care of yourself.

Respectfully Phoenix
 
I am happy to hear that you have been clean for nine years! I am also a meth addict and just want off this drug for good.

Be careful of what your physician tells you they often do not know a thing about addiction. Are you sure you need the meRAB? When do you expect to not "need" these drugs anymore?

There are other things that can help you with pain such as meditation, acupuncture, exercise. I don't mean to be hard on you, I am just trying to suggest...sincerely, searchin
 
Hi Erika,
First off, congratulations on your accomplishment! Beating addiction is no easy feat! I understand your fear of falling back into addiction, and can tell you that opiate addiction is an awful hell to llive through. My husband has been a pain pill addict for over 8 years and has been sober now just over two months thanks to a wonderful program called suboxone. My husbanRAB addiction originated from injuries he sustain during 15 years of rodeo. His habit spiraled into 300 dollars a day, to the point where he was stealing, lying, destroying his body etc. etc. But at the end of the day he really did have CHRONIC PAIN and needed medication, but his tolerance was so high, no doctor could legally prescribe him enough to control his pain. He has had six surgeries this year alone (three of them were back surgeries). I finally sturabled onto the miracle drug (suboxone) while researching methadone clinics in my area. This is what i know about suboxone from my own experience, and a little bit of research. Suboxone has been used as a pain medicine in Europe for over 10 years, but has just recently been approved by the FDA (in 2002 to be exact). In addition to being used as a pain medicine, it is also used to treat opiate addiction (how I came to know it). Unlike percs, vics, oxys, etc. it does not produce a euphoric high effect and it does not cause the up and down highs and lows of traditional narcotics. Though it is rather new in the states, many doctors (including my husbanRAB) believe, and are advocating for it to be the main pain medicine used for those with chorinic pain. It can be used long term, and doses can be lowered as pain gets better, or lessens. From my understanding, it can also be prescribed ongoing, if needed. Doctors must be certified to prescribe it, so not all docs. can write for it. As new as it is, I'm not even sure that all doctors are aware of it's existence. If you think this may be a good alternative for you from strong narcotics, talk to your doc about it. < edited > Keep in my that some doctors only prescribe it as a solution to opiate addiction, so when you are researching docs, make sure you specify that you are not wanting to treat an addiction, but find an alternative for your chronic pain. My husband has not only been relieved from the life of an addict, but the suboxone really does help his pain as well. I hope this helps!!
 
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