intimate situation virgin and funny question?

[bunny foo foo falcon]

I'm an 18yr old girl virgin I have a loving 18yr old boyfriend not virgin. I have had some bad things happen to me. I'm now just minor issues now. I was almost raped 6yrs ago, stalked, harassed, this past October sexually assaulted. I've had controlling boyfriends(they're exs now thank God)I've been cheated on controlled lied too and made to feel worthless. My boyfriend and I have talked about all the possible out comes and I know if anything hap pend he'd stay. He wants me to pick who's on top for the first couple times til it won't hurt when we have sex which is a recommended position? To me it's just sex but to him It's making love. I've had moments in my sleep where I've the sh*t out of people in my sleep, ransacked my room, whipped my pillow across the room and cleared of my nightstand, I fell asleep in vehicles and almost wen through a windshield, also almost took out two dashboards. I've also had nightmares were I've almost thrown up, went over my foot board, Woke up screaming bloody murder. don't tell me I need time to heal or anything I know if I started tweaking or froze he would go its ok babe we don't have to do it and stop, He is a very respectable caring guy, I'm very lucky to have him. Some say I will mellow out others say I'm f***** forever. what are your opinions to the above questions, one more thing he knows all of my behaviors so he knows how I get when I'm horrified I'm asking these questions because I care deeply about him. I'm not looking to get married or have a family, just get back to how I was before everything. He wants it to be the least pain full for me as possible. I haven't felt pain in years, so I'd probably like it. He's the greatest guy I could give my v-card to. I know I'm ready, he wants it to be the least pain full for me and I wanna respect that wish, I'm not worried bout the pain at all. Any options, opinions comments(nothing bad please), suggestions etc....... much appreciated thank you!
I said everything as it is I know he can do better but he doesn't he sees somethin in me I don't even see