Renesmee .Ox
New member
Okay, so after night of drinking way too much Saturday night - damn you Jimmy Beam - and puking out the back of my friend's car; and then wrestling with my roommate on the way in my house like the drunk angry Irishman I am - I get sick. LOL - get sick? Okay, I puked my fucking brains out. That's okay, shit happens. Besides, I don't remember puking. Well, I had a little flashback Sunday morning as I sat down to take the obligatory morning beer shit. Only, when I flush the toilet - the bastard burps. It really made a gurgling, burping noise. Now, sure I've clogged a toilet or two in my time - and I've got a plunger close by in my bathroom, but the water's rising fast. I reach down to turn off the water. Too late. Chocolate water all over my bathroom floor. I stand there for a second - dazed, pissed, hung-the-fuck-over, sad - just looking at this terrible mess. I grab some rags and quickly throw them on the floor, and try to plunge the toilet. Nothing. This bitch isn't gonna give easily. My girlfriend hears the commotion, and gets out of bed. She comes into the bathroom, and somehow keeps a solid head on her shoulders - no swearing, no gagging - she just gets right down to work. I'll stop here with the graphic detail, but will tell you that I continued trying to plunge to no avail. My girlfriend runs to her place and gets a plumber's snake. Still nothing. Now, I'm no Bob Villa - nowhere near it. To be honest, it's the first time I've used a snake, but I think I'm using it right. Still nothing.
I give in, realizing I'm not going to make any progress on it. I decide to call the property management company and let them deal with it. When I call them this morning, the gal on the phone "reminds" me that I will be charged, if the plumber finds a "foreign object" to be the cause of the problem. No problem - it's got to be a shitload of TP (forgive the pun), and that's not foreign to a toilet. Amazingly, they get a plumber out today. My roomie's home, and will let the guy in. I call this afternoon to find out if the guy's been there - he had. Roommate pauses, then bursts into laughter, "how the fuck did you get a handtowel stuck in your toilet?" A hand towel. A fucking 13"x9" hand towel. So, not only did I have to mop up my own shit and vomit, but now I must pay a plumber for fixing it (somewhere in the $85-100 range). Even more insulting - the plumber was only there for a few minutes, and had the toilet fixed in under 2 minutes. Nice.
Night out drinking with the boyz - $146.73
Late nite dining at Taco Bell - $3.58
Bottle of Ibuprofin - $4.65
Knowing that my roommate and that overpriced plumber saw (and smelled) my puke and shit covered hand towel - priceless
I give in, realizing I'm not going to make any progress on it. I decide to call the property management company and let them deal with it. When I call them this morning, the gal on the phone "reminds" me that I will be charged, if the plumber finds a "foreign object" to be the cause of the problem. No problem - it's got to be a shitload of TP (forgive the pun), and that's not foreign to a toilet. Amazingly, they get a plumber out today. My roomie's home, and will let the guy in. I call this afternoon to find out if the guy's been there - he had. Roommate pauses, then bursts into laughter, "how the fuck did you get a handtowel stuck in your toilet?" A hand towel. A fucking 13"x9" hand towel. So, not only did I have to mop up my own shit and vomit, but now I must pay a plumber for fixing it (somewhere in the $85-100 range). Even more insulting - the plumber was only there for a few minutes, and had the toilet fixed in under 2 minutes. Nice.
Night out drinking with the boyz - $146.73
Late nite dining at Taco Bell - $3.58
Bottle of Ibuprofin - $4.65
Knowing that my roommate and that overpriced plumber saw (and smelled) my puke and shit covered hand towel - priceless
