I'm not sure if I am on the right thread for this topic, but I guess someone will let me know.
I don't know if what I have is insucurity, or some other mental illness. Maybe someone can help me. I am not a very book smart person, due to never being in school my whole childhood. Parents didn't care enouph to send me. But I am very world smart, and I feel like I can read people by their actions and facial exspessions. As well as many of us probably can. But...to finally get to the point. I am extremely jealous! I am down on myself all the time, I feel like I am not good enouph for anything. Family always tells me that I am pretty, but I think I am ugly. I am getting old looking, I am not as thin as I used to be, and my health is falling apart. I think I am haveing anxiety issues, but not sure. I can't breath, I get mad when my husband follows my younger, much more attractive sister-in-law around with his eyes, is always in a good mood around her, and as soon as we leave, he's a crab. Am I being stupid? I can't get over it. It's like someone is taking a knife to my chest and turning it over and over again. I get the shakes, and my heart starts to beat hard. I don't want to go through this any more. I can't stand being around my sis-in-law. But we are....at least twice a week. My husband knows how this makes me feel, but he says its my problem, and just keeps on doing it. I really do feel like I have a mental issue. What do you think?
What can I do? I feel totally helpless!
CT
I don't know if what I have is insucurity, or some other mental illness. Maybe someone can help me. I am not a very book smart person, due to never being in school my whole childhood. Parents didn't care enouph to send me. But I am very world smart, and I feel like I can read people by their actions and facial exspessions. As well as many of us probably can. But...to finally get to the point. I am extremely jealous! I am down on myself all the time, I feel like I am not good enouph for anything. Family always tells me that I am pretty, but I think I am ugly. I am getting old looking, I am not as thin as I used to be, and my health is falling apart. I think I am haveing anxiety issues, but not sure. I can't breath, I get mad when my husband follows my younger, much more attractive sister-in-law around with his eyes, is always in a good mood around her, and as soon as we leave, he's a crab. Am I being stupid? I can't get over it. It's like someone is taking a knife to my chest and turning it over and over again. I get the shakes, and my heart starts to beat hard. I don't want to go through this any more. I can't stand being around my sis-in-law. But we are....at least twice a week. My husband knows how this makes me feel, but he says its my problem, and just keeps on doing it. I really do feel like I have a mental issue. What do you think?

CT