Inconsiderate assholes on airplanes

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In the last 3 days I have spent a grand total of 23 hours on airplanes or in airports. I have been in every time zone in the continental US. Most of them 2 or 3 tims.

I have been kicked in the face, I have been elboed in the back of the head, I have had coke spilled on me, I have been sat on, I have been drooled on and I have been subjected to so many fucking crying kids that I'm all for mandatory sterilization.

A father, carrying his 4 year old to the bathroom was walking down the isle. Just as he got to me the kid throws a hissy fit and starts flailing and kicked me right in the face. I didn't get so much as an appology. I did get told to watch my language by 4 people and two stewardesses.

While waiting for the bathroom a fat woman sat in my lap. She had the nerve to be offended when I told her to get the fuck off of me.

Airplane seats are narrow. If you have broad shoulders like me, that means you might have to squeeze into the seat. If you have huge hips that means you need to buy TWO FUCKING seats because I FUCKING PAID for mine.

So here are some things, that as a human being you should take into consideration when you're flying.

1. DEODERANT. You are sitting very close to people. You shouldn't smell like nasty Body Oder.
2. Do NOT wear perfume. Some people like to use the whole bottle. If you wear perfume on an airplane you are one of these people. Maybe it's only one squirt. The air is recirculated which means that I'll be smelling it again and again and again. So that one squirt is the whole bottle.
3. Let the guy behind you know you're going to lay your chair back. Because cracking him in the knee is a good way to piss him off.
4. If there are two of you, try to sit the smallest of the two next the other person. For example: If you're a big guy, your wife is small and there is a big guy sitting in the isle, you take the window, and let your wife have the middle. Otherwise you're just going to crowd the other guy.
5. If someone sits down next to you and opens a book, or puts head phones on, or starts working on a laptop take a fucking hint: they do NOT want your life story.
6. The stranger next to you is NOT your FUCKING pillow.
7. If your kid starts screaming, do something. Do it now. Do not ignore it. An airplane full of passengers is not an appropriate time to take a stand and teach your child a lesson. It is an appropriate time to cave in and do whatever you can.
8. If you're a vegetarian let the airline know. If you don't, and they serve you a hamburger be nice. A shit fit at 32,000 feet because you don't eat beef and didn't share that information until now is no good.
9. Last but not least: Remember, there are people that want OFF THE FUCKING AIRPLANE. Don't stand in the isle and repack your carry-on. Either grab your shit and go, or repack in a seat and let other folks go.

I dealt with EVERY single one of these things. EVERY assmaster son of a bitch that had to be anywhere this weekend was on the same flight that I was. At one point, I thought about just getting up and letting myself out. But there were only 30 minutes left in the flight and it seemed kinda stupid to put up with so much shit for 4 hours and give up just before it ended anyway.
 
Thats fucking pathetic. But, I have been one of those people that are a vegetarian and dont say anything :redface: oopsies, I didnt even think about it. Now I know better though. And I realize that last time I was on an airplace, many of those things happened to me too. I was not a happy camper at the end of the trip.
 
i have flown far too much.. blah blah 35 countries.. plane travel does suck but it's worth it.. anyway, i always get the wing seats with more legroom, i know the trick of the toilet patterns.. best time to go isn't after food.. and i generally just talk to people when spoken to..

but i wish we were allowed to shoot each other sometimes.
 
I've flown a few times.

Mostly local-ish flights to Vancouver (hour and a half flying from here).

But I flew to georgia a few weeks ago. Thankfully I didn't have to put up with that shit, and was actually able to sleep during the flight.:happysad:
 
I have definitely had my fair share of horrible airport experiences. The worst two were due to delays at my origination that have landed me in the horrible position of trying to get stand-by at a layover in order to try and get to my destination the day I hoped to arrive.

My worst experience ever was trying to fly from Ohio to Nebraska on Xmas day. Spent 24 hours in 4 different terminals because the plane wings wouldn't de-ice properly. It took the airline 2 hrs to decide that it was unfixable we should get on another plane. Not that I wanted to fly on a plane with issues...by any means...but they could have made the decision that we needed to get on another plane in less than 30 mins IMHO.

You by far have had it much worse than me, Uber. I have never been drooled on or had anything spilt on me. Worse I've experienced from other passengers is kicking the back of my seat by some brat.

Your list gets a major :thumbsup: , but I would add 'Do not bring food on the plane with you, especially Chinese food. It smells horrible and stinks up the entire plane.' Had this happen to me on a freaking 1.5 hr flight. Almost made me want to endure the restrooms on the plane and hurl.

Now riding a Greyhound is a much different story. My first and last experience on a Greyhound was the worst travel experience I've ever had. Nascar fan got on bus next to me, dirty white t-shirt, took up half my seat, and broke your first rule in aces. Phew! :eek:
 
The screaming kids are what really get me. I mean, if you are a parent, you're on an 8 hour flight and your kid starts screaming... take all the other passengers into consideration and SHUT THE KID UP! Anyway, that sounds like the plane trip from hell. I agree, plane trips (especially the 12 hour ones) would be a lot more bearable if people were more considerate.
 
:thumbsdn: Fuck that! I would probably jump the fuck out. Or I would smack the kid shut, punch the fat lady, knock the father out, bitch slap the fligh attendance, eat the burger that the idiot dont want, and get arrested when the plane lands. :gun: :gun:
 
Flying is stupid anyway!

Now that the USA has a lot of idiotic rules and regulations for flight passengers, I won't ever fly to the USA anyway.

Authorities yell at you, and that is just one of the minor offences I've been told by Dutchmen visiting the USA, and some of them were old war veterans!
Hey.. We used to be allies you know! :rolleyes:
 
I love your list, it is one of those "why don't people know this allready?" My best plane flight was from bootcamp to A-school. There was 36 of us on the plane and no civilans:D And after 3 months of not seeing any girls, the fligh attendances were the hottest wemen we ever saw in our lives.

The worst flying exp for me was after A-school. I flew from florida to St. louis. I had 4 plane changes, spent 6 hours in layover, and spent a totle time of 14 hours on a plane:mad:

I think everyone hates flying so much, they just want someone else to suffer as much as they think they are.
 
worst flight..
bangkok to london, the guy next to me confided he was smuggling heroin.
he was really high..

or nashvile to miami 2002, there were two muslim guys and one muslim woman, two guys together, woman seperate but they kept signalling to each other, then the woman started crying and kept shouting 'La' which is arabic for no, she wasn't saying 'allah' like she was scared, i thought that at first.. she was shouting 'No' at the two guys.. i rolled my inflight magazine up real tight and watched the guys like a hawk.. nothing happened. half the plane was having panic attacks.

best flights..

dhaka, bangladesh to kathmandu, nepal.. you go from sealevel over the himalaya.. beautiful day, everyone on the plane were like little kids..

port blair, andaman islands to chennai, india.. i lost my seat because the prime ministers son stole it.. so the other carrier offered to take me but first class to compensate.. i had leather trousers on, was about 40 pounds underweight and put on my best decadent english upper class accent.. the stewards/eses all thought i was a rockstar and gave me as much champagne as i could manage and sat around talking to me.. and you really don't notice your fellow traveller in first class..

phnom penh, cambodia to bangkok is a beautiful flight too, you stay real low and the only passengers are asian business men, small and polite.. of course i ruined the whole experience by carrying a pound of weed..

in and out of zurich is good, decent passengers, excellent scenery.

the worst felow passengers i ever experienced were americans, they don't seem to get the concept that when you are in the real world you are not number one, a little bit of 'calm the fuck down and take a xanax' would help a lot.. oh and french middle class people going to israel, oh and israelis.. talk about a room full of people thinking they are job number one..

it all makes me laugh though, travel is easier if you relax.. unless you think the guys two rows ahead are terrorists because you just bought into the whole media scare thing.. :happysad:
 
worst flight ever.

Bombay(india) to chicago via Dusseldorf(germany) and amsterdam

The flight oin bombay got delayed by two hours. We were allready in the plane so we couldnt get out. We wiat on the rumway for two fucking hours because of bad weather.We finally takeoff and when we are approaching amsterdam, there is to much fog and we are running out of fuel. Great, so now the pilot take us to dusseldorf in germany.When we land we still arent allowed to get out of hte fucking plane.The least the fucking airhostesses can do is give us a fucking glass of water. We wait there for 3 whole hours and then we take off for amsterdam. Obviously we miss our connecting floght to chicago.Half the people on our plane were goin to chicago. So we stand IN INE for 4 hours getting connecting tickets to detroit (which is the only available plane going near chicago that day). We rreach Detroit and then we finally reach Chicago. Think the story is over? nopes, After we reach, we find out that our luggage is in amsterdam.All of it.Not a single bag came.In my carry on i have like my laptop,ipod and a empty bottle.
I go home and our apartment was being repainted and the carpet was being changed. For 4 days i was sleeping behind the piano and i got so sick of it that i stayed at my friends for 3 days afer that. We got or luggage 1 week after comming to chicago.

Moral the incident Dont fly NORTHWESTERN/KLM
Fuck them bastards.:mfinger: :gun: :sword: :flamed:
 
I have heard many others talk much about your ways of viewing things. However, this is the first time I am a bit annoyed by it. By all means hate America and the American way, that is your right. But your post has nothing to do with the subject at hand.

This type of situation happens all over the world, not just America. So please retain yourself from making this a Europe and America thread. This is not the place or the thread to do it. We have many of them already.

Also, this is not meant as a flame. Just wanted to point out how out of topic your post was.
 
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