In which Jesse realizes she has to grow up.

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Doanut

New member
Holy shit Jesse, what happened? Did my pessimism finally rub off on you? Well, fortunately for

you, my pessimism doesn't always out maneuver my realism, which isn't always as gloomy as

the rest of my predictions.

College, if you go through it like I did, which I think you will, is a blast, so long as you're studying

something that you actually love. You have some classes that you have to take, but other than

that, you have a goodly deal of freedom which classes you take. There tends to be a lot less

socialization unless you deliberately use your time to socialize more. The frustrating difference

between the two is the financial paperwork we'll have to go through for financial aid.

Graduating isn't so big, either. There are some tearful moments for some, some comedic

moments for others, but the feeling only lasts so long when you're at home and away from the people that you've spent the last four years with daily.

You've been working. You're working two jobs. This really doesn't change. I'll be working too, so we'll at least be able to save up a bit for an entire year before our move.

The big differences here are going to be finding a place, paying rent (which isn't so different from paying any other bill, which I know you're already doing now), getting furniture and living with me, which is hardly going to be a complication. I'm going to be helping you with the house chores, not telling you when and how to do them. :) It's all mainly a lot more paperwork. Don't let it get to you. You already have a checking account and that shit, so you're just going to have more money going in and out of it.

Don't sweat it, love. The time is creeping up on you, so naturally you're going to panic. Panicking is what you do. It's your nature to panic. But not even that should bother you too much. I'll be there with you, all the way.
 
Growing up is lame, but dont kid yourself, for hte most part it happens really slowly, and hten the occasional bursts are a shock but most of it is so gradual it wont be that big of deal. Just take it one piece at a time! You'll be fine! :thumbsup:
 
Don't waste your time worrying about it now. You're causing yourself undue stress. Everything'll be fine. Once you go, you'll see college isn't scary... at all.
 
Jesse nobody is ready to grow up. Yet everyone muddles through it. You'll learn to cope, you'll miss some things, and you'll like some of the new changes, and you'll go on. There's little choice in the matter. Try to find things you like, and do them as often as you can. Good luck.
 
I wasn't ready to grow up, it just sort of happened when I wasn't really paying attention. I partied, worked, and generally got used to paying bills and such, but that wasn't all of it. It seems to me that I remember one day saying to myself...

"Damn, when did I grow up?"

It seems scary at first, and with all due respect, it is. As long as you got a paycheck, and can live within your means it really doesn't have to be difficult. Having a live in boyfriend will help too, that means two paychecks for one household's worth of bills. The good thing is that you don't have to give up everything you think is fun to do it either. You just have to pay attention to the ever nagging financial side of independence. Instead of going out to party at a club or bar, have some friends over and watch movies. There's plenty of things to do that are fun without spending butt-loads of cash...

Hang in there hun, it's not really as bad as you're making out to be. I found it kinda fun, actually...
 
Ok, here's the scoop on college.

It's mostly just like high school with a few major differences.

1. The schedule is more fucked up but you get to create it yourself.

2. In high school no matter how much you fuck off there is almost always a way to get enough credit to pass. In college the professors don't give a shit if you pass or fail and will generally not go out of their way to help you do either one.

Do not make the following mistakes:

1. Getting and using a credit card. Most people get into credit debt early in life because they see it as free money. It's not free. It is very very very expensive money. You might get a free CD for signing up but trust me, the free CD (or flashy gizmo or iPod or whatever) is not worth the hassle that card will cause you later in life.

2. Thinking you can catch up on your classes later and party hardy. No. You can't catch up.

3. Thinking that you should only study and never party because this shit is important. No. This shit is not that important and it's important to have a good study/life balance. Later in life this becomes work/life balance.

4. Thinking that your GPA is some all important wunderbar thing that must be maintained at all costs. I graduated from college 10 years ago. I have had approximately 35 job interviews in that time frame. Not once, ever, has my GPA come up in an interview.

5. When everyone in your classes is talking up how awesome their project, grade, whatever is remember, they are full of shit and are having the same problems you are having.

6. Different people have different study habits. What works for some may not work for you. Study groups may be a good thing for you. I found them to be a huge waste of my damn time. I am not you. Do not assume them to be a huge waste of your damn time.

7. Your school will have a counselor's office. This is generally low cost or free mental health care. The people that work there are trained professionals (not dumbass psych students) and are there to help. If you get into trouble and need someone to talk to, this is a good option. It doesn't make you week or stupid or needy to use these services.

8. People have all sorts of expectations of you. It is not your job to be what they think you should be. It is your job to be what you want to be. If they don't like what you want to be that's no big deal because they aren't you.

College is an interesting step on the path to the "real world." Don't stress too much but keep your head on straight. Living with you boyfriend might not be a great idea right off the bat. Most people don't marry the person they dated in high school and of those that do, nearly none stay married to them. Living with someone is entirely stressful and is very hard work. Going to college is hard enough and adding a serious live in relationship to it is just asking for a LOT of trouble right out of the gate.
 
Uber hit the nose on the head with every one of those.

I'll just add:

9. Find some extracurricular hobby. Nothing releives the stress of school better than going out and doing something you really enjoy.
 
;797220']This is fine if you get a secure credit card through your bank- in other words, you give them a certain amount of money and they give you a credit card for it. You pay back what you spend on the card- even though you have the money there regardless. This is a good way for you to start building credit.

Stay away from Frats and Sororities unless you do some research on them and find them to be legit. What once started as a good idea to build brotherhood has turned into a den of stupidity, and most people who own businesses look down on the organizations these days, if what I hear is true.

Study your butt off. Be smart. Save your money- there's no shame in going to a bent can store or buying cheap imitation food. Surviving on your own the first time sucks, but if you guys use your brains you'll be fine.
 
Ahhh the Greek system: for those people who actually DO have to pay people to be their friends. They throw awesome parties but provide no real benefit to the campus beyond that. They cost an arm and a leg to join and once you make it to the real world they are a lot like your GPA; nobody will ever ask and nobody will ever give a shit.

Things to avoid #10. Go to the parties at the frats and sororities. Don't join them. It costs you $5 to get into the party, it costs about 1 thousand times that to join the sorority/fraternity.
 
Hey it's not that bad, actually college is just like high school ( at least that's the case for me) so I'm sure you'll be just fine. Moving around isn't that bad either, I've moved around my whole life, and I can tell you that going to a place where nobody knows you, or how you grew up, can be really refreshing. Maybe this experience will help you to realize how grown up you really are, in that finding yourself is much easier when you're around people you don't know.

congratulations on all your hard work though!
 
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