B
BrandonBeble
Guest
This is awkward to share but i cut myself and even cried after 3 years with no tears, I am also very shy and timid. I'm 14 a boy in 9th grade, I've never asked anyone out before and i started to talk to this 1 girl on Monday the 15th on June and i talked to her in school during PE i only got her name and had a short conversation and i thought she was amazingly cute and nice.
During all my classes i thought of her I was sprung i guess so the next day i go with my friends to a middle school to fine this 1 girl we know. Meanwhile were waiting my friends told me i wanted to hook up with that girl i was sprung on and i said yeah so they called her and i froze up on the phone so i just told her bye but i told my friend if i could get her number and he asked her and she said yes.
So around 7pm i texted her till 11:30pm. Even if i overtext her 1 message I feel like a total douche bag and that she thinks I'm annoying and that she hates me even though that might not be the situation. So the next day Wednesday i text her asking if its okay for me to walk her home but instead she wants to come to my house.
So we go to my house the snacks are ready and i turn on the movie and it turns out we don't even watch it we just talk until she starts feeling comfortable and starts laying on me. I'm about to kiss her and my mom walks in I NEVER liked her harsh but true so she walks in and freaks out so I just walk out with her. We go behind some big store and we talk for like another hour. After that I walk her home and we talk some more and i eventually kiss her twice. But i don't know it didn't feel special.I thought we were together but we weren't cause she told me and i knew she needed to trust me more. She had 4 boy friends and she was with one 11months and sprung on him when he dumped her she under clinical depression and the nest day saw her ex with another girl already. So i walk around for a couple of hours burning of steam.
I get home and I'm frustated and I just want to be with her i text her at night and i also over text 1 message and I feel like an idiot. So friday she doesnt come to school cause shes sick and i drop of some roses at her house and she texts me 20minutes later say omg i love them<3333 and saying no1's ever given her 1 except her family. and i text back u deserve roses everyday. so like an hour later everythings perfect.
At night i text back and it was boring so i think she stopped and I only over texted her once but i felt stupid all over again. that's the night i cut myself, cried and even tried to get my frustration out on a workout. and today in the morning i woke up feeling as if i was hammered and depressed. Whats wrong with me and why am is is my self-esteem so awkward why am i cutting myself...
i feel like suiciding most of the time but my conscience just wont let me...
During all my classes i thought of her I was sprung i guess so the next day i go with my friends to a middle school to fine this 1 girl we know. Meanwhile were waiting my friends told me i wanted to hook up with that girl i was sprung on and i said yeah so they called her and i froze up on the phone so i just told her bye but i told my friend if i could get her number and he asked her and she said yes.
So around 7pm i texted her till 11:30pm. Even if i overtext her 1 message I feel like a total douche bag and that she thinks I'm annoying and that she hates me even though that might not be the situation. So the next day Wednesday i text her asking if its okay for me to walk her home but instead she wants to come to my house.
So we go to my house the snacks are ready and i turn on the movie and it turns out we don't even watch it we just talk until she starts feeling comfortable and starts laying on me. I'm about to kiss her and my mom walks in I NEVER liked her harsh but true so she walks in and freaks out so I just walk out with her. We go behind some big store and we talk for like another hour. After that I walk her home and we talk some more and i eventually kiss her twice. But i don't know it didn't feel special.I thought we were together but we weren't cause she told me and i knew she needed to trust me more. She had 4 boy friends and she was with one 11months and sprung on him when he dumped her she under clinical depression and the nest day saw her ex with another girl already. So i walk around for a couple of hours burning of steam.
I get home and I'm frustated and I just want to be with her i text her at night and i also over text 1 message and I feel like an idiot. So friday she doesnt come to school cause shes sick and i drop of some roses at her house and she texts me 20minutes later say omg i love them<3333 and saying no1's ever given her 1 except her family. and i text back u deserve roses everyday. so like an hour later everythings perfect.
At night i text back and it was boring so i think she stopped and I only over texted her once but i felt stupid all over again. that's the night i cut myself, cried and even tried to get my frustration out on a workout. and today in the morning i woke up feeling as if i was hammered and depressed. Whats wrong with me and why am is is my self-esteem so awkward why am i cutting myself...
i feel like suiciding most of the time but my conscience just wont let me...