I'm starting to really embrace my West Indian culture, but my friends seem to have a

[Da Vinci]

problem with it? I live in a white community. I have a lot of white friends. I am 15. When we have projects where we discuss people, I recently started to pick West Indian, Indian, or Middle-eastern people because I just want to learn and understand how far my people have come. My mother's side is muslim, so whenever I visit them, they always mention Islamic places, customs, etc. and I just want to learn.

Today in history, I mentioned to a friend thatt I understand I'm only picking a certain group of people, but it’s just because I wanted to learn about where I came from. But she just rolled her eyes and looked away and said, "You really ARE only picking Indian people," with this sort of attitude. It was like me choosing people of an Indian or Middle Eastern ethnicity was a bad thing.

She's Jewish, so she's grown up with Jewish culture and was taught to never be ashamed of it. I however WAS ashamed of where I came from because I had no one to relate to. She had a community to embrace. I had my mom and dad, and whoever came to visit me.

I'm NOT bringing my West Indian ancestors up 24/7, or finding every single way to slip what I've learned in to a convo. I only bring up what I've found whenever we're discussing a topic that relates to that. Like saying, “oh, her mother was Latina,” if you were Hispanic.

I think my friends are being very insensitive and rude, and I don’t know how I should approach discussing this with them. Do you think I’m wrong with wanting to share who I am with them?
Evergreen, I don't mean to be rude, but in reply to your answer, I know that my ethnicity doesn't define who I am. i'm just new to this whole cultural thing and i wish my friends would have my back, maybe even listen whenever I want to talk about something. But they don't. Can you answer this question though, please?

Do you think it's wrong of me to want to share what I've learned, or do you think it's wrong of them for displaying no sense of interest whatsoever?

 

[LexDiamonds]

I kinda understand where you comin' from.

At 15, its instinctive that people begin little journeys in self-discovery, while at the same time adolescent society encourages you to assimilate with your friends and whatever theyre doin'. So basically what you've found yourself doin is asserting your differences to a group of people who are more or less hostile to anyone who's different.

In a way I could understand your friends reactions somewhat. While they still like you, they probably feel threatened by all this talk of race and heritage and ancestry. I hate to generalise, but in my personal experience young White people HATE to bring up issues of ethnicity and race because of some misplaced feelings of guilt. In reality, while background and ethnicity isn't definitive of who you are, it plays a MAJOR role in your overall persona. I never realised how much my own West Indian upbringing affected the way I thought and felt about things until I finished high school (im 19 now).

Your friends are wrong for not supporting you, point blank, and theyre being somewhat selfish in that they're afraid that you're gonna change because all of a sudden you've become aware of who you are and where you come from, since they've already made a mental outline of what you are. But dont let them define you, let YOU define you and if they don't like the real you then they aint your friends.

 

[Evergreen]

Your problem is not in your friends' lack of appreciation for who you are and more in thinking that your ancestry is what defines who you are. As long as you assert that your background is important people will judge you on that basis, and you'll have to be prepared for more negativity than positivity because you're giving others the opportunity to discriminate.

Celebrate individuality and the traits that are unique to you, and try to understand how amazing it is that you have the freedom to do that (whereas through most of history people were bound by their heritage whether they chose to be or not). Group identity is a hollow pursuit when you have a limited sense of self.

 

[fifa575]

You're not wrong with wanting to share who you are with your friends. If they were good friends they would at least try to take an interest and not be so rude about it.
This may sound weird but maybe they were use to the fact that you were ashamed and now that you're becoming more aware of how interesting your background is, they might feel somewhat threatened that this new found pride will change you in some way.
I remember being 15 and that's kind of an age where you're trying to find yourself. Everyone is trying to find what makes them unique so maybe the fact that you're starting to find this about yourself is intimidating to your friends. Girls that age are weird. Just continue to learn about your background and continue to find pride in yourself as a person. It may be useless to try to talk to these girls about what you've learned but you can talk to them about how they've been acting and how it bothers you. If they don't understand or care then I suggest finding people who will genuinely take an interest in you.
Good luck!

 

[Coors]

I think you are 15 and by nature you want to share the discoveries you make on the journey. I also thing your friends are the same and your all developing your ability to not let your experiences not hijack your ability to listen. I think it’s fantastic you are learning about your culture but sometimes sharing something simple when someone is sharing their experience is viewed as dismissive. It’s not fair but it is life even when you older. I almost envy you and your excitement, I’m 38 and past that wonder of self discovery that defined me.

I’d suggest you journal your discoveries and save them for the day you have mature friends that have grown past themselves and are ready to hear your story.

This isn’t about being rude this is about being 15 and being the center of the universe while discovering it. Don’t let anything discourage you from learning about your roots and heritage but take good notes. I’ve journaled all my life and I have notes from when I first learned to play guitar to when I first looked into my native American roots. What I’m about to suggest will come hard for you but here goes. Listen and ask your friends questions about their journeys as hard as it may be don’t share your details until the curiosity kills them. Treat your discovery like scared truths you couldn’t trust to just any friend but only the special ones. Don’t through your pearls to swine.