I'm so weird, I think I'm going crazy. Any psychologist out there?

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Renée

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I'm 20 years old. Diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder since the age of 7, body dysmorphic disorder at the age of 13, anorexia at the age of 14. Adult attention deficit disorder, depressed, can't differentiate between dream and reality at times. I aslo might be bipolar.
It has been 3 days since I last slept. I'm so tired, but no, I can't sleep. I've been crying almost everyday for the past 2 months. I rarely go out, my work demands me to stay indoors 99% of my life. Almost gotten raped once, and since then can't help but feeling dirty. My family members and I have been growing apart ever since something happened.
I love my online boyfriend so much, but is this love or obsession? I waited for him to finished eating for 40 minutes with the cam on today. And I was too dizzy that I decided to lay down inside my room, little did I know I would fall asleep for 3 minutes. After waking up, I rushed to the comp only to find he has gone offline to sleep. from the history list, it's shown that I woke up a few seconds after he went offline, but he did leave me a msg on where he was going and wished me a good night. But strangely, I cried and was about to scream in frustration. I ran in circle. I can't even sleep without him wishing me a good night. Can't sleep without talking to him for a day. For additional, some of my dreams really did happen the following day that sometimes keep me thinking that we do not exists. What's wrong with me? I'm such a creep.
Please help me, thanks.
 
Seeing that I've been in the mental health profession for 20+ years, my first question to you is what, if any, over-the-counter meds are you taking, or, what prescription meds, yours or someone else's, are you taking? If any, cool it!! I would also want to know what that "something" is when you said "something happened". You give no reference to it, unless you're talking about your almost getting raped, in which you need to learn how to write proper sentences. You list all these diagnoses since age 7, so I want to know who gave you those diagnoses? I want to know, by reference, how valid those diagnoses are. You might not like my less-than-sympathetic answer, but then, I've never found sympathy to be a very constructive therapeutic tool. I want answers if you want answers. If you're uncomfortable telling all this on Answers, which I can understand, go to a professional and talk with him or her. I don't really find Answers as a very good place to deal with detailed mental health issues, as well as all the stupid pregnancy and other medical questions. If you want good detailed answers, you have to go to the professional, and be ready to answer questions. Otherwise, we can't give valid, reliable, help. God Bless you.
 
Online romances are awfully difficult. it takes people who either don't care or who really know who they are and what they want. You need to not worry about this guy so much. you also need someone to really look at your entire hsitory and give you medical exams etc. All of these probles could lead up to any number of things; bipolar disorder (that is not treated properly) also if they do examnie your history and determione you to be bipolar DO NOT let them treat you with Anti-Depressants ONLY. Also, some of this could be caused by medications you are actually taking. Maybe you need a new job. Until then spend at least 15 minutes at lunch or sometime and take a walk. it will help a little. i would say find a doc you can talk to and work through all of this and not just medicate you. this could be one or none of the things you are being treated for. If you truly want to feel better you've got to take control of your medical life and never give up until you find a doc to help you.
 
Everyone needs someone. I think whether its the internet or not it wouldn't matter with you. If you were out a lot u would have met a real life person. This person has become your saftey net. I have lots of saftey nets. The longer u get used to having this person around the harder to let go if u ever stop talking to him. He is a sorce of comfort for u. Often your saftey net would be a parent but since yall are growing apart then that's why u attacthed to him. When they sign off and u can make him come back online if u want to say something to him will create the seperation anxeity. So the anxeity made u run in circles. Its a bad feeling but can not hurt u. After panic relaxation comes. Anxeity and depression can make u feel out of ur mind and out of reality. Like u r living in a dream. I used to ponder if things were real. Are all made up? As I beat my depression and gained a clearer head I figured out to be able to live in a dream or or if this is all made up then I would have to ne real in the first place to dream it or make it up. I have ocd too. The ocd is much easier to control once u beat anxeity and depression. Because the ocd is a outlet for the others. So beat the others and ocd has no purpose anymore. I'm assuming u have a counsler. But yet u r still looking for help here. I suggest swithing to someone new. But wjatever u do continue the counsling. Its the only thing that will help u. I rarley believe in meds but with all the problems u have at one time a good med is probally what u need to help the brain relax for a bit so u can get a good grasp on everything. I think ur brain is overworking as its experiencing sepression and anxeity while trying to keep up with the ocd also u may have post traumatic stress syndrome from the attempted rape. There's a lot going on and from my experiences the seperation from reality and the dream like living are ways for the brain to lighten the load. I think a good combo of meds would help u feel normal again. If u ever need someone to talk to add me to messenger or email me. I'm always on. God Bless.
 
I do think that you need urgently to see a doctor and have proper treatment. It seems to me that you may be bipolar, and if you continue living without any medical treatment, your life could be at risk. Please, don't pay attention to the ignorant people who advice you not to take medication that could help you deal with this debilitating mental illness. You cannot make it by yourself, you're dealing with many emotional issues, and no new job, no boyfriend could help you deal with so many problems. You're clinging on this online boyfriend because he's the only person who seems to care about you now.
Talk therapy and right medication for you will improve your life, and your social life too in the future. Please, keep your hopes up, look for help for you as soon as possible. I give you credit for asking about what's going on with you on this forum. But you need to take the bull by the horns and face the reality that you're facing mental illness, and you cannot treat this by yourself. Nothing to be ashamed of. There are millions of people who are bipolar, suffer from depression, or have other mental issues, and with right treatment they can lead good, satisfying lives. You're very young, and this is good.
Best of luck to you.
 
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