I'm scared of going to college. How am I supposed to deal with this?

[ime11]

I'm not to terribly afraid of classes or living on my own, I mean to an extent I still am but that's not really what I'm worried about now. I probably won't really worry about it until summer's end or something and that's the problem. I feel like I'm to much of a kid to be going anywhere near a college. As far back as I can remember the idea of growing up and the things, people around me and even me changing scared me but I was to naive to truly grasp the concept until high school came around. Sometimes I hated high school but it really isn't the schools fault. It's mine. My scope of the world just grew and I became extremely self aware. Reality just seemed to spit on my face. I still have the same friends that I did during my earlier years but I'm nowhere as close to them as I used to be, I alienated myself from them because I was afraid they wouldn't like me anymore because they were changing at a rate I couldn't seem to catch up with. The idea of someone creating an entirely different me in their head just scares me. It's all I have, really. So I became the invisible boy; I made myself as bland and unimpressionable as I possibly could. I'd rather go by unnoticed than be not liked by someone. I also have this sense of inferiority, well not inferiority exactly, but I just don't think it's possible for me to amount to anything so I just don't really try. I'm afraid that if I do people would see me as a fake and if somebody else does a great job on something I feel like shit because I will never be as good as them no matter what. It makes me feel as if I'm just some speck of dust floating around some place that nobody could really comprehend. After reading this you'd think I would be grateful for a chance to start a new life, become someone else, be reborn but I'm not. Well, I do feel happy and even excited about it but, at the same time, I feel....sad. I mean high school might have been pretty crappy but there were good times to, I just hate the fact that it is ending, I mean this'll be my last summer as a kid. It's like hammering the final nail into the coffin, and there's nothing I can do about it but move on and be the best adult I can be but I don't think I can. Yes, I am aware of how self centered and whiny this is all sounds. You don't have to answer if you don't want to, I just wanted to tell somebody.