im pregnant and he ignores me and plays video games constansly. please help!!?

[alicia555]

Hi. So I'm 19 and my fiancee is 20 ( yes we're young and inmature). We're expecting our first child and share an apt. We have been together for 5 years and I always knew he played rpg s. (A kind of vid games). But before we lived together he was a terrific boyfriend. We always went on dates n shared great convos. Well the first 6 mnths we had our apt together I worked while he looked for a job n wen I got pregnant he found a great job n I quit mine. I take care of the house, iorn his suits and all that good stuff. He works 4 days a week 12 hour shifts sellin furniture and has 3 off days. Well wen he gets home from work allll he does he sit on the comp and play his games. He doesn't even talk to me, look at me or anything. If I try to talk to him he gets annoyed n aggervated. On his 3 off days he plays 22 hours a day n sleeps for 2 hours. it drives me crazy! I tell him he needs to go on dates with me and take me out before the baby comes n he just ignores me. I'm so sick of talking to a wall. Idk wat else I can do besides tell him that we need to spend time together. Pleaaaassseee help!!

 

[Ashley D]

it isnt the video games fault. consider yourself lucky that he didnt turn to something worse to avoid his problems.

you have two choices here. either unplug his games and piss him the hell off trying to talk to him....or, you could learn to play the games, and then talk to him on the same playing field.

odds are he is scared that he wont have any time to himself when your married with children so he is using the video game as his escape. however, he could be using anything. some guys disolve into sports. some disolve into drugs. the list goes on.

you need to work WITH him, not against him. if you were to go all crazy and unplug his shit, he is just gonna get even more pissed off. if you try talking to him about the game and act interested, its something he ENJOYS talking about, and you can use it to work your way into talking about other things.

or you could try setting goals. if he looks like he is doing something by himself try saying "hey honey, after your done with that quest, can we go get something to eat? theres a new resturant we could try". or if he is working with a group, try "is your raid just about over? maybe we could rent a movie when your done?" that way your giving him his time to play without FORCING him to get off.

cause trust me honey, i was in your shoes once. not pregnant, but i am engaged to a man who games. when we started, i thought World of Warcraft (the game he plays the most) was the stupidest game ever. i decided it made more sense to learn to play and see what he liked about it, than to try to talk him off of it. ya, i now have my own account and we have another fun activity to do together that is way cheaper than going out anywhere.

work WITH him, not against him

like, im not saying just give up on going out. my fiance was a total anti social and then i showed him we could have fun gaming, AND going out. if you learn to have fun what he is doing, and you can COMPRIMISE! (ie, he gets his time, you get your time, and you both get your WE time) you will have a much happier man than if you just outright tell hime "im not happy and this is how it is"

im just interested in keeping all parties happy. show him your willing to be interested in what he has going on, but then work with him to show him that going out is still fun too