I'm lonely

L

lol.aries:.~

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I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder a while back... got put on meds, went to therapy, and for hte most part I think I'm past it. I will always be shy, but Im done with meds and therapy, I can function.

The problem is... I dont really talk to many people other than a couple of close friends and my coworkers at work.

Where do you guys meet people? For the most part I've gotten past my crippling shyness, I can function... but it seems the only place you can actually meet people these days is school, and for whatever reason my old habits of anonymously wandering about like a ghost and just going to class and going home take over.

But Im not going back to school until next spring probably, so what do you guys do? There's no sense in sitting around feeling sorry for myself for being lonely.
 
I go to the local campground and just started hanging out with the seasonal campers there. All they do is get drunk and go fishing, and that course are my two favourite past times.

Find a spot where there are drunk people, and then insinuiate yourself into their group, bring a 40 of captian morgan, that will speed things up.
 
;797664']You know, honestly... I know how you feel. Here at Benning, I've been very antisocial. It sucks sometimes. But you... as pathetic as it may sound... this goddamn site has helped me vent so much. I've got a couple of guys I bullshit with when I go and have a smoke, but they're not like my war buddies from the Corps. I feel kind of like a stranger.

I suggest getting your brain straight. And as I said before, fuck people. Who needs friends?
 
Wow Hostile you live one sadly lonely life. One awesome way of finding new friends is just to go out and do something you like. If you like playing basketball then go to a basketball court at your nearest Y and try to start a game with some people. If you like pool then go to a bar and try to find a match. Another thing you could do is find a job and meet new people there. It doesn't just have to be at school, but when you do meet people that you think are pretty cool don't be shy about it, ask them to hang out sometime. Good luck man.
 
it was me, before I moved to Finland..

I know how you feel. Begin to do stuff you like, then some dude will start a convo and youll hit it off and you'll become friends and all will be happy forever..ok maybe not like that but. It helps to being on a party(that isnt bratty and all shit) but more of a chill party, where you talk with people and drink lightly :happysad:
 
Don't do it! For the most part, people are dicks that fuck you over.

I would sick with the few close friends that you hang out with now. Less drama, less emotional investment. :thumbsup:

If you're really itching though, go somewhere to do something you like. If you like reading, go to a used book store or a lounge. Start up a conversation, then stab them repeatedly in each toe with a paper clip.
 
Find a hobby or activity that you really enjoy. Then find groups that also enjoy that hobby oractivity and you'll meet people you have something in common with.
 
Work and school are probably the most common places to meet new people. They have the added benefit of giving you something in common to talk about, which is the first step in determining whether or not you might become friends.

Outside of those two venues, as others have suggested, start with figuring out activities you already enjoy - whether it's collecting comic books, or working on cars, or scrapbooking, or whatever. It could also be something you find intriguing, but haven't tried yet - like mountain climbing, or archeology. Then find some places locally where people meet to do that - it could be a comic book store, or a coffee shop club, or a beginner's guitar class, or volunteering at a local dig site or museum. If you start going there on a regular basis, you'll find other regulars, and voila'! You've got something in common.

Next step - actual conversation. Most people like to answer questions regarding their interests. So, if you've decided to join the local gem-cutting society (for example), take a deep breath and ask someone about the rock they're working on. If you're honestly interested in the activity you'll be able to continue the conversation, which could lead to finding out more about that person (and they can get to know you a bit), which could lead to becoming friends.

It's not easy to do, especially if you're shy. The most important thing is to know yourself, and like yourself first. Finding anyone else who enjoys your company is almost a bonus. It can be worth it though. Worst thing that can happen is that you learn more about archeology or mountain climbing.
 
All great ideas here! I will say that my situation is somewhat similar. I'm in a small town where I already know pretty much anyone who goes to the coffeeshop, I know everyone who works there. I know almost everyone who goes to public ice skating in winter, and I do know everyone who shows up to rec hockey scrimmages or games. And of course because it's a small shop I work in, I know all my coworkers.

But yet I really don't have many people that I actually hang out with. Which is why I quite often spend alot of time surfing this site, and the odd time a couple other forums. Lately I've also been watching a fair number of movies, too, between being on here, and working on my van.

Last thing I'll mention is that I've found that I have to not give a shit what people think of me. Living in a small town helps that, as everyone knows who you are, everyone has their opinion on you, and if you do anything slightly out of ordinary, there'll be a rumor going around town about you.

So since I've gotten half decent at not caring about what people think of me, I've found I can hold a conversation better with someone I don't know (well), as I can think straight and not be freaking out about what they're going to think of me. This is in itself a mental process, but once I got used to thinking this way, it's been quite simple. Well, until it comes to talking to girls...that's another topic!
 
I've made countless from talking about skateboarding. Like they have they're board and I'm like, "You skate?" and we just talk about what we can do and since we are both interested it becomes a long ass conversation and eventually we go skating. Ha ha.

Also, find people with the same musical interests. That's me many friends, as well. :thumbsup:
 
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