I'm in a bit of trouble with my health.... help please!?

[Jay94]

I need honest advice: it's possilbe i'm heading for anorexia. I look it up everyday and see what they do... then i start doing it and it feels normal to me. I never eat breakfast now, i don't eat at school because i don't like my friends seeing me eat, and when i get home all i eat is a small apple and whatever my parents cook for me so they don't think I have any problems. However my friends are getting suspicious. i'm so confused. And whe i look up anorexia I read about all the problems it causes you and how it can kill you, but it doesnt scare me and I can't stop. I wan't to be skinny! And i remember looking at myself in the mirror one day thinking.... "my god i'm so fat, you won't be skinny untill you can see your ribs" And i'm tired all the time. Even when i'm half asleep on the couch, i start thinking "i havent done any excersize" and i push myself to do it. I get up at 6.00am go for a run and go for a run after school every day. I don't know what to do, and i don't want to go to counseling. Whenever I eat something fatty, i start crying. People have tried to tell me i need to eat or I need help but i just ignore them. But i keep telling people about whats happening to me, how i almost passed out on the floor one morning, how i'm always dizzy and have a headache. And how i have started to become really weak. It's like i'm not ashamed of it. except my thatI were baggy clothing because then no once can see my weight. It's like I wan't anorexia because i'm not scared of what it will do to me.... any advice?