I'm 17, i've only had one real boyfriend in my life, and a couple of kisses here and there with other guys. I've never had sex but I've always liked guys. I would think about them all the time. Three days ago though, i was at the mall with one of my girl friends and i suddenly had a thought about her i shouldn't have had. I;ve always been interested in those country boys who drive tractors and trucks. I hangout with a lot of them. That night after the mall i went home and i felt so nervous and sick to my stomach that i threw up. I don't want to be bi/lesbian at all. My parents are opposed to stuff like that and i'm afraid they just wouldn't be able to look at me anymore. i've always been close with my parents and i could never break their hearts like that, but i would have a difficult time keeping something like that from them if that were the case.
I just haven't been sure lately. I personally hope it is just my imagination making me nervous. I keep imagining myself with a girl, and i don't get grossed out, at times i feel uncomfortable about it though. Then i picture myself with a guy, and it's almost like i feel nothing. I don't see girls any differently then before, and i don't seem to think 'omg how do i look' in front of them like i do with guys. i picture things like recieving a text from the guy i've been recently interested in, and i don't seem to get excited,/ When my friend texts me, i do't fel any different or get all smiley or anything either. So far, it's all been stuck inside my head. I haven't looked at a girl in a certain way yet or anything. I am just seriously afraid of winding up being bi or lesbian. The thought of me holding hands with a girl doesn't freak me out, but i'm not sure i'd be a hundred percent happy about it. It' son and off, thats really all i can say about it. And so far it's all in my head. So what does this mean? Is it a phase or is it the start of something else? I'd appreciate the help. Thanks
I just haven't been sure lately. I personally hope it is just my imagination making me nervous. I keep imagining myself with a girl, and i don't get grossed out, at times i feel uncomfortable about it though. Then i picture myself with a guy, and it's almost like i feel nothing. I don't see girls any differently then before, and i don't seem to think 'omg how do i look' in front of them like i do with guys. i picture things like recieving a text from the guy i've been recently interested in, and i don't seem to get excited,/ When my friend texts me, i do't fel any different or get all smiley or anything either. So far, it's all been stuck inside my head. I haven't looked at a girl in a certain way yet or anything. I am just seriously afraid of winding up being bi or lesbian. The thought of me holding hands with a girl doesn't freak me out, but i'm not sure i'd be a hundred percent happy about it. It' son and off, thats really all i can say about it. And so far it's all in my head. So what does this mean? Is it a phase or is it the start of something else? I'd appreciate the help. Thanks