I'm gonna string Jerry from DISH up by his ballz!!!

K

King of (screamo) Crunk

New member
I enjoy my job. I do what I love doing and am good at. I rule. It kicks ass. But a couple of times a day I am plagued by fucking telemarketers. They piss me off, because they break my concrentration and distract me from writing kickass software. The ones that piss me off the most are the recorded messages.
Normally, I hang up immediately, thus I avoid hearing the name of the product or company. There are however, exceptions. The worst example is Jerry from DISH networks. He has the most annoying voice. After hearing 2 words, you just know he's the kind of guy who shoves gerbils in his ass. His voice is so annoying, you just want to choke the shit out of him.
We all hate telemarketers. It's a fact of life. Just like inflation and middle stall pissers, it was invented by a sadistic demon and unleashed into the world to help make our lives suck. But these are truisms we are all well versed in. The important message I would like to pass on to everyone is:

SAY FUCK NO TO DISH NETWORKS

Douche Networks are guilty of telemarketing and therefore an affront to all which does not suck.
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Yea i hate telemarketers. It's fun to pick up the phone and mess with them, hehe..

Dish sucks in storms. I missed out on half of Pee-Wee last night...
 
I get telemarketing calls at like 7 am when I'm in college. That's why if the phone rings before 9:30 on weekends, I'm going to let it go to the machine. If it's important, I'll call the person back. Fuck this, "Would you like a credit card Miss *insert last name that is never pronounced correctly*?" Fuck no. I told you fuck no last time. And they NEVER seem to be from America. They always have these heavy accents that I can't understand. Gah!
 
Woah! @.@ Rant much? XD If people like you weren't here I'm pretty sure the site wouldn't be like it is today, and I have no clue if it's good or bad. -lol- J/k it's good, ranting site, meant for rants like yours. Good thing this house has cable and not dish.
 
Thank You Caffe and Munky. Now wasn't that easy?

Hey Woody, know what I hate more than telemarketers?

Bigots! Anyone that prejudges someone by the way they look, sound, dress, hair color, skin color, etc. Intolerant assholes just really piss me off.

Forget the DoNotCall registry, ever heard of Caller ID? Use it, now go piss in the middle stall.
 
:rofl: Once a telemarketer asked if I would like to buy so toilet cleaning suplies. So I instintively answered him in the most hillbilly tone of voice and said,
"Sir, I ain't got no indoor fancy pants toilet. I gots one of them der porto-jons. If it needs the cleanin', I just send my boy in there with a shop vac and a rag."
Telemarketer responds, "You send your child to clean the porto-jon?? Well we have cleaning products that would help your son clean faster, would you be interested?"
I tell him, "Well heres the problem, I got an indoor toilet. its got a fancy flusher so I don't need to clean nutin'."
Telemarketer, "But you said you had a.." (this is where I interupt him by yellin outside telling my son to stop playing with a dead kitten on the road. I don't have a son or a kitten.) .. *long puase* would you be interested in the cleaning.." (I interupt him again)
"Sir, I gotta go, my sons trying to eat roadkill." then I hung up.
 
You know what grinds my gears almost as much as much a telemarketers? People who assume too much. CallerID is not always applicable or available. What are you, vezza? Some kind of telemarketing sympathizer or an agent of Douche Networks?
While neither of those are acceptable, I will forgive your lack of understanding of middlestall pissing. You're not a man and thus cannot be expected to understand the importance of our gender's bathroom protocol and etiquette.
 
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