...crying everytime i think about it? I am a senior. I have two classes in school that I sit by myself (while all other classmates sit with another person). I feel so depressed because it feels like you're being labeled as a loner (feels like HEY LOOK! THERE IS A LONER IN OUR CLASS!). I hate classes with double seats, because I feel pressured to having someone sit beside me (like an average person who I think might not want to sit beside me), or sit by myself, or worse, sit with another weird unpopular person. In another class, I had to sit with a white person (I'm Asian, the school I'm attending is mostly Chinese), because he's new, and he's the only person I know that wouldn't reject me because he is new and doesn't care because he is not popular also...I have no confidence with the other normal Chinese classmates because I feel they don't want to sit beside me on the inside. I fear rejection very much, and won't automatically go sit beside someone that I want to sit with. I also feel that others won't want to sit beside me for who I am and would rather sit by themselves than to sit with me because my facial expression is reserved and I don't have a lot of friends (no close friends) and I was often seen alone.
I feel so depressed I feel like God has betrayed me...Why won't he let me be normal for JUST ONCE IN MY LIFE?!?!?! I'm not asking to be a millionaire, I'm not asking to be Michael Jordan, and I'm not asking to be Kenny G; I'm just asking to be average!!! Why did I win "the grand prize" of being one of the only loners in my class?
DO YOU FEEL THAT GOD HAS GIVEN ME A FAIR LIFE?
WHAT CAN I DO TO IMPROVE MY SITUATION?
WHAT CAN I DO?
I am very depressed right now
I feel like the guy described from the song "I dreamed a dream" because of the lyrics below:
"I dreamed that God would be forgiving.
.I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed."
I feel so depressed I feel like God has betrayed me...Why won't he let me be normal for JUST ONCE IN MY LIFE?!?!?! I'm not asking to be a millionaire, I'm not asking to be Michael Jordan, and I'm not asking to be Kenny G; I'm just asking to be average!!! Why did I win "the grand prize" of being one of the only loners in my class?
DO YOU FEEL THAT GOD HAS GIVEN ME A FAIR LIFE?
WHAT CAN I DO TO IMPROVE MY SITUATION?
WHAT CAN I DO?
I am very depressed right now
I feel like the guy described from the song "I dreamed a dream" because of the lyrics below:
"I dreamed that God would be forgiving.
.I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed."