i'm enaged and me and my fiance' argue sometimes but its always dumb shiit

T

Tas

New member
nothing major.....? can someone please tell me how to be the perfect fiance' and wife cause evidently i'm doing it all wrong. he is cuban and black. cubans normally have great family values, really believe man is king and expect his woman to be a certain way and i still don't know what that is. i don't like to piss him off cause that cuban side comes out and it ain't pretty. he's not abusive or anything like that. i just want to avoid confrontation when i can. So i guess how can i keep my man happy?
we don't argue every day or nothing like that. he hasn't tried to change me. i want to change. i do have a really sassy and smart mouth although i don't try to be thats just how i am. he accepts me flaws and all
 
I think coming up with mutual agreement is key to not arguing. The fact is that people always argue.(sad but true) I try to sty calm instead of getting mad at every little thing, and that helps. We split the chores and I cook sometimes and he does too so there's no confusion on how he likes his food cuz I get to taste how he makes his own food and I take from that to make my meals. I think all men like a nice clean home, nice warm food, and some TV time to themselves when they get home from work.
 
What about what YOU want? What about what makes YOU happy?

If you spend all your time running around, avoiding confrontation, and only making him happy, you will come to resent it eventually. Who cares if he's Cuban? This isn't Cuba. If he wanted a Cuban wife and all that entailed, he should have stayed in Cuba and married a woman there.

Instead he's chosen to marry YOU, which means he's going to have to get accustomed to you as you are... and if you're not like the perfect Cuban wife, well, he'll just have to deal with it. Be confident that you are lovable and deserving of love exactly as you are. He'll either step up to the plate, or he won't. His choice.
 
if he wants to change you then maybe you shouldn't get married. sounds like he wants a submissive yes sir kinda girl that doesn't want/know how to speak up or think for herself
 
That's pretty dumb that you have to walk on egg shells around him.
I hate that whole mentality guys have about being the "king" and expect their women to be passive.
Screw that. I dated a Filipino that was like that, he got more and more controlling and his anger got worse and worse until it started getting violent that's when I ended it. Guys like that will keep their anger under control until your married and then they'll get meaner cause what are you gonna do? You're married, harder to get a divorce than to just break up.

Whats he doing to make you happy?
 
Ask him what's wrong - if he's okay with you. If you love him the way he is, don't change him - change yourself - but remember, don't change yourself without asking him. He probably feels the same as you. [:
 
Every relationship has problems so it's nothing to fret about, but if it comes to a point where you can't stand it you should talk about it and see what can be done
 
well, if he really loves you he'll love you for whatever you do, or act.
if your being yourself, your not doing it all wrong. if he has a problem with what you do or say he can go find that women that has to be a "certain way" somewhere else!!!!
 
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