I'm confused.

G

gymnast ♥ƒor life♥

New member
My entire life I was raised to believe there is a god.

I've been dragged to church, taught to pray and read the bible, and all that other religious shit. Yet, at the age of 17, I started doubting. I attended a christian school, yet none of the students seemed to be very christian. Christianity's supposed to be about love, they all hated me. Students and teachers alike.

Yet, I still went to church, not because I wanted to, but because my parents told me that if I didn't, I could find another place to live. I had nowhere to go, so I kept going for another 5 years.

I still go occasionally, though I don't know why. I don't agree with a lot of the things they say. Their Holier than thou attitude annoys me. And yet, I go, because it's what's expected of me. If I stop going, people will get hurt, and I don't like hurting people. My brother stopped going a few years ago and my parents still aren't over it...

I don't know. I feel like I'm living a lie. I don't feel god in my life at all. In fact, I sometimes feel that he put me on this earth so he can have a cheap laugh. So, I can put on my good little christian facade and keep going and keep everybody happy, or stop going and hurt the people that I care about.

Fuck, I don't know what to do. I don't know anything anymore.
 
Fuck them, if you don't want to do it, don't. Theres plenty of great opportunities in life and if you don't like religion then you shouldn't be forced to. Just deal with it for another year or so then go to a university, take what you want and do it. Or you can come here to Canada and some free health care :D .
 
You can follow the teachings of jesus without being religious, or even believing in god. Jesus preached acceptance, love, tolerance, forgiveness and humanity. Live up to those ideals and you'll be a good "christian" without having to believe in the teachings of the religious. I bet that's something even your parents could understand.
 
You never specified what branch it is that your parents are forcing you to follow. From the way you're speaking it sounds like it's either Mormon, Baptist, or Catholic. I've seen the way they act and the hypocrisy that comes out from in-between their lips when it translates to their actions. There are a lot of other facets of Christianity out there that follow a lot of the same edicts as those churches. Like my church for example is simply a gathering of people that look to learn from the bible and see what it is that God really wants for our lives. And I'll tell you wholeheartedly that these people live the word like no other people that I've ever met in my life. I mean these people really walk the walk. I'll tell you more later if you're interested man... no pressure really.
 
I guess Baptist comes closest to our denomination (Canadian Reformed, or American Reformed in America).

The thing about this church, is they practice what they preach also.

They preach that they're better than everybody else and that theirs is the only true church and every other church is wrong.
 
I know the exact feeling. I went through the exact same thing. Almost right down to the letter. The only difference was that they didn't consider themselves superior to other denominations. They were Baptist. You may want to give it a break for a while. Maybe you'll go back. Maybe you won't, but if you don't agree with it, then you shouldn't live a lie. You're not going anywhere by staying the way you are. It kinda takes courage to talk with your family, but if they can't listen respectfully, then that's even less reason to go along with the, and their beliefs.
 
Ok, this is the one thing that we try to stay away from because we feel that kind of attitude can lead to the Jimmy Jones syndrome (Google that if you don't know about it). We don't put ourselves above anyone else OR any other church... that's for God to decide, not us. I don't know what it is, it might be the fact that we go into one anothers homes throughout the week. We get real in depth and personal with each other. Hold one another accountable for our actions. We pray together constantly (most recently a friend of mine prayed with me right there where he works in a Real Estate office). Like I said I don't know what it is exactly, but something keeps us real humble about all that kind of tripe.
 
Read the god delusion by richard dawkins. REad texts of other religions and see if their ideals suit your own. Check out all religions before you denounce religion in general. I have read up on all the religions that i could think of and i came to the ultimate conclusion and personal belief that religion is for the weak.

In my opinion people need something more than life in order to go through life. And who wants to proffer that their maze of beliefs are wrong and their personal meaning of existence is flawed... ergo all the religious wars that are self defeatis.

Define who you are and what you are about and define your own personal religion.

Some people take the bits they like and leave the bits they dont. Who is anyone to say you are wrong so long as you do right by your fellow man and follow your heart mind and "soul" as it were.

Think about what makes you wake up and continue throughout life without giving up... and that my friend is your religion. Think of the term religion as a following of life and not of the specific branch of belief there-of.

I deem my "religion" as my personal followings in my own life. My "religion" in esence is do onto others as i would have done to me. It makes me feel good and i feel that if i am following the "wrong path" i will still be seen in the eyes of "the almighty" as a ritcheous follower. Any person that needs my expressed comitment of Faith and what have you... is no being i would enjoy spending eternity with.

I would rather spend my "eternity" in a firey pit of hell knowing i lived a great life and did right by all... than to sit in the gardens of eden with some man that controlled my every move reguardless of its agenda or the agenda of his "teachings".
 
There are some things we do to achieve peace at home that we don't necessarily support or agree with. For example, my husband doesn't particularly like my sister, but when she comes to visit, he is fairly pleasant and civil. It doesn't hurt anyone, and achieves harmony. It could be the same with the church going and your parents. They want you to attend church with them. It's no big deal - a couple of hours a week. So go. It doesn't mean you have to agree with the teachings. And you're not going to change your parents viewpoints, so there's no sense in arguing the philosophy.

We all make our own decisions on what we believe, and faith is internal. Outside of the request from your parents, you decide whether you want to attend a different regular, organized service, or celebrate your beliefs in the woods at night. Your mind is your own, and only you can decide what feels right for you.
 
Eh. Well, I'm pretty sure you're well aware of my religious beliefs, so I won't even bother going over them again. :tongue:
 
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