I'm 17 years old..I've come to face my past, since I spoke to friends of mine..And I'm just going to come out with it now..When I was 7 years old, I was raped..I don't consider it OFFICIAL rape, seeing how he was my age...But, my friends say that it's rape..As far as sex goes, that was the only time I had sex, even if it was rape..And even if I did fight. Ever since that incident happened, I had these lucid dreams up until 17..I think I got rid of those dreams but..
I guess I was tapped in..You know, that area. And I've been having dreams ever since of sexual mutilation, acts of sodomy..All of it against myself..All of it anal. My continuing incidents with so called friends made it worse. I'm a guy, by the way..When I was 12, I was in the pool with a friend of mine and..He asked me to show him my penis. I quickly did. That didn't end..There were two more occurrences..In one, he slept over at my house and asked me to jack off infront of him to show him the uhh..Discharge.
I guess those incidents didn't help..The point here is that I'm into really KINKY stuff..Yuri, Yaoi, Hentai..And normal porn.
I do of course look at normal porn but..I don't find the girls attractive...I'm not attracted to guys either..
At least, I..Don't know..I don't know what I like..When I imagine gay sex, I don't imagine it being beautiful or sexy..But rather, kinky fun..(Can't help but giggle a little..). And when I imagine it, I'm the one being dominated.
I'm shy but..This may help. I don't have any sexual attractions to any of my friends but. Sometimes when I'm with my friend, I tease him, and touch him a little, and I do the same to his friends..Tickle their necks, poke them, and..None of it is intentional..I Just do it on instinct really.
The only thing I do that's intentional is push my friends chest onto a table in public, and hump him, to humiliate him.
I know I've given only examples of gayness, but..There's this void..I don't know..When I think of sex, I just..Don't know what to like..Of course, I daydream of having sex with a woman, but that's only because I was taught that anything else is wrong...
....Which is why it brings me to great shame when I say this. I guess I'm into a lot of kinky things.
I'd really like it if someone were to email me. I have more confessions, but I'm too ashamed to put them out on here.
Sexually, I could go either way for fun...But if you want to talk about looks, and who I like...I don't know..I'm just so confused..I've gone through these constant phases like"Oh, maybe I'm gay" "maybe I'm bisexual".. When a girl moans, it turns me on..But that's it..
I've studied psychology before, and if there's anything I'm good at, it's evaluating myself to an extent. And my theory is that..Maybe I just like the idea of submitting myself to dominance..I can't explain it..
I need help..A lot of it. Like I said, some things I cant say on here..
F**k you. I'm not gay.
I'm not a faggot. Go choke on a knife
I DONT KNOW WHAT A F**KING RAPE HOTLINE IS!! STOP PRESSURING ME!!
WHAT, AM I GONNA TELL MY SCHOOL ABOUT IT TOO? OR THE POLICE?
You're all just teasing me.
I guess I was tapped in..You know, that area. And I've been having dreams ever since of sexual mutilation, acts of sodomy..All of it against myself..All of it anal. My continuing incidents with so called friends made it worse. I'm a guy, by the way..When I was 12, I was in the pool with a friend of mine and..He asked me to show him my penis. I quickly did. That didn't end..There were two more occurrences..In one, he slept over at my house and asked me to jack off infront of him to show him the uhh..Discharge.
I guess those incidents didn't help..The point here is that I'm into really KINKY stuff..Yuri, Yaoi, Hentai..And normal porn.
I do of course look at normal porn but..I don't find the girls attractive...I'm not attracted to guys either..
At least, I..Don't know..I don't know what I like..When I imagine gay sex, I don't imagine it being beautiful or sexy..But rather, kinky fun..(Can't help but giggle a little..). And when I imagine it, I'm the one being dominated.
I'm shy but..This may help. I don't have any sexual attractions to any of my friends but. Sometimes when I'm with my friend, I tease him, and touch him a little, and I do the same to his friends..Tickle their necks, poke them, and..None of it is intentional..I Just do it on instinct really.
The only thing I do that's intentional is push my friends chest onto a table in public, and hump him, to humiliate him.
I know I've given only examples of gayness, but..There's this void..I don't know..When I think of sex, I just..Don't know what to like..Of course, I daydream of having sex with a woman, but that's only because I was taught that anything else is wrong...
....Which is why it brings me to great shame when I say this. I guess I'm into a lot of kinky things.
I'd really like it if someone were to email me. I have more confessions, but I'm too ashamed to put them out on here.
Sexually, I could go either way for fun...But if you want to talk about looks, and who I like...I don't know..I'm just so confused..I've gone through these constant phases like"Oh, maybe I'm gay" "maybe I'm bisexual".. When a girl moans, it turns me on..But that's it..
I've studied psychology before, and if there's anything I'm good at, it's evaluating myself to an extent. And my theory is that..Maybe I just like the idea of submitting myself to dominance..I can't explain it..
I need help..A lot of it. Like I said, some things I cant say on here..
F**k you. I'm not gay.
I'm not a faggot. Go choke on a knife
I DONT KNOW WHAT A F**KING RAPE HOTLINE IS!! STOP PRESSURING ME!!
WHAT, AM I GONNA TELL MY SCHOOL ABOUT IT TOO? OR THE POLICE?
You're all just teasing me.