Im a young poet, and wanted to know what someone thought of my poem.?

S

SMKastrul

New member
If you hate it, don't hesitate from telling me. I need to know what people think. Now heres the poem.

High in the crowd,

So Tall,

So proud,

Chin in the air,

casting such a shadow,

Showoff.

Stomping me down,

Scarring me deep,

Teeth shining white,

Hair flowing thick,

I want it!

I want her life!

And as she passes by,

I reach out my hand.

With a prance she proceeds,

leaving me in shadow,

To my own life,

To my own hell.

And I sit here

grasping a lick of hope,

That maybe she'd walk by again,

That maybe she'd notice me.

That maybe She'd pull me out of the dirt.

But this is foolish,

Ignorant,

Childish.

There is no fairytale.

Only her,

Only me.



Only heaven,

Only hell.
 
I am also a young poet, and I think this is a great piece... I personally like poems like this, but you also have to remember that publishers aren't just looking for skeletons like this! You need produce, details, that give images. This gives a general idea which is great for open interpretation, but if you want more poems to be published I suggest you make your poems a bit more specific, more detailed, but the quality of this poem is incredible. It has a good theme, so keep that up, and keep writing! You are very talented and I would hate for you to stop writing for whatever reason...
 
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