Kaiti King
New member
I know the beginning is slow but keep reading cause it gets better.
Chapter one
I stared up at the Eiffel Tower, Squinting my eyes to block out the sun. I was in France seeing all of the wonderful things I've always wanted to.
My right hand was on my chin and my left was on my hip. I was looking quizzically at the tower when I felt someone staring at me. Jacob. God, I loved him, though I tried to push the annoyance away. Finally he broke through, "Aisha" he said when I rolled my eyes to look at him. My name was Carnation but he says he thinks of the, shion, sound so he calls me Aisha.
"Can i help you?" I asked, making it clear that he was interrupting my thoughts. (He knew I hated it when he did that.)
"Well i thought it would be nice if you knew that we have to go catch out plane now." He said. I sighed at the simple fact that it was a good enough reason for me to acually leave.
I didn't want to leave yet. There was something special here. But I just had to keep telling myself that if i needed something it would come up in my life and i would maracualusly end up back here with a great longing to search. I kew it was true but something inside me told me that there was a part of my theory, a big one, that was wrong.
Flying in coach wasnt nearly as good as flying first class but it got the job done. Jacob was in the sear next to me with his loustious hair and deep blue-green eyes. Oh, how I wanted to kiss him. And yeah, that's another thing, he's not my boyfirend he's my best friend. He didn't love me the way I loved him. "Why are you staring at me? Do i have something on my face?" Crap, he saw me.
"Um... I mean....I just.... Never mind." I stammered. I was usually so good with words and making up lies. But with Jacob? No, it was different.
He was looking at me like he knew that conversation wasnt over yet. Shoot, he was probaly right.
I summond a flight attendant. She was very pretty, and Jacob was practically drooling on himself.
"Jake!" (I never called him Jacob) His head snapped bakc and he smiled at me like he did nothing wrong.
The flight attendant, Rachel, said, "How can i help ya'll?"
"Gengerale" I said.
" Coke" Jake said looking tired.
How can i get rid of her without hurting or being mean to her? I had to get her to be mean to me.
"Coming right up." she said with a smile on her perfect face.
"Rachel, pleas come to the front of the plan. I need to have a word with you." said a voice on the intercom. Her milky white eyes looked down at me like she had read my mind. A small evil voice came into my head and said, They will never beleive you. You don have that kind of power yet.,then i had a giant headace.
i looked around the plane to see if anyone else heard it. All i saw was Rachels curls bounce on the back of her head as she walked down the isle. She stopped and turned around, for a moment her eyes were closed but when she opened them, they werent white anymore. They were blood red and looking straight at me.
Then all of the sudden i was asleep hoping i had dreamed that but knowing i hadnt.
Chapter one
I stared up at the Eiffel Tower, Squinting my eyes to block out the sun. I was in France seeing all of the wonderful things I've always wanted to.
My right hand was on my chin and my left was on my hip. I was looking quizzically at the tower when I felt someone staring at me. Jacob. God, I loved him, though I tried to push the annoyance away. Finally he broke through, "Aisha" he said when I rolled my eyes to look at him. My name was Carnation but he says he thinks of the, shion, sound so he calls me Aisha.
"Can i help you?" I asked, making it clear that he was interrupting my thoughts. (He knew I hated it when he did that.)
"Well i thought it would be nice if you knew that we have to go catch out plane now." He said. I sighed at the simple fact that it was a good enough reason for me to acually leave.
I didn't want to leave yet. There was something special here. But I just had to keep telling myself that if i needed something it would come up in my life and i would maracualusly end up back here with a great longing to search. I kew it was true but something inside me told me that there was a part of my theory, a big one, that was wrong.
Flying in coach wasnt nearly as good as flying first class but it got the job done. Jacob was in the sear next to me with his loustious hair and deep blue-green eyes. Oh, how I wanted to kiss him. And yeah, that's another thing, he's not my boyfirend he's my best friend. He didn't love me the way I loved him. "Why are you staring at me? Do i have something on my face?" Crap, he saw me.
"Um... I mean....I just.... Never mind." I stammered. I was usually so good with words and making up lies. But with Jacob? No, it was different.
He was looking at me like he knew that conversation wasnt over yet. Shoot, he was probaly right.
I summond a flight attendant. She was very pretty, and Jacob was practically drooling on himself.
"Jake!" (I never called him Jacob) His head snapped bakc and he smiled at me like he did nothing wrong.
The flight attendant, Rachel, said, "How can i help ya'll?"
"Gengerale" I said.
" Coke" Jake said looking tired.
How can i get rid of her without hurting or being mean to her? I had to get her to be mean to me.
"Coming right up." she said with a smile on her perfect face.
"Rachel, pleas come to the front of the plan. I need to have a word with you." said a voice on the intercom. Her milky white eyes looked down at me like she had read my mind. A small evil voice came into my head and said, They will never beleive you. You don have that kind of power yet.,then i had a giant headace.
i looked around the plane to see if anyone else heard it. All i saw was Rachels curls bounce on the back of her head as she walked down the isle. She stopped and turned around, for a moment her eyes were closed but when she opened them, they werent white anymore. They were blood red and looking straight at me.
Then all of the sudden i was asleep hoping i had dreamed that but knowing i hadnt.
So don't worry about it right now focus on the story. The grammer and spelling comes with editing...but it does come...I know groan right?) Anyway I really really like this and I know that the more you work on it the better it will become. Trust me when I say that in four years your entire storyline might change ( I know mine did!) So good luck and keep writing !