im 13 and my girlfriend is leaving for 3months i wanted to write her a poem but

J

Justin

New member
idk if its good, be honest.thx? A silent whisper from the heart,
told me you were the one.
nothing could keep us apart,
for my love has just begun.

When I sat in the dark,
all alone without a spark.
You shun light upon my soul,
My heart was what you stole.

You are my love,
More beautiful then white doves,
that fly around and above.


or should i juss go with 1 already written like

I asked God for a flower, he gave me a bouquet
I asked God for a minute, he gave me a day
I asked God for true love, he gave me that too
I asked for an angel and he gave me you.
 
Too be completely honest I don't like either of them, but I think that she'll be touched anyway since you obviously attempted.
 
I LOVE the one you wrote! plus i think it will mean a lot more if you give her something from your heart and tell her what you are really feeling! she will love it i promise! you have talent! :D
 
Your 13, it shouldn't matter if she's leaving for 3 months you can have plenty other girls in your life, live your life now your still young. There both good poems what ever one you like more you should choose.
 
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