If the groom's parents are divorced, does the mother of the groom help pay...

C

Carrie

New member
...for the rehearsal dinner? My parents are divorced and are fighting over who pays for the rehearsal dinner for my brother's upcoming wedding. My mother doesn't think she should have to contribute. My dad thinks she should pay half. Who's right??
 
Shame on them both, to be doing this to your brother when they should be celebrating. I'd say, it should be split evenly between the two.
 
I think it's a petty thing to fight about.

If the grooms parents traditionally pay for the rehersal dinner, your mom and dad should split the bill. That said, if your dad makes twice as much money as your mom, he should also be paying twice as much of the bill.
 
The whole issue here is the etiquette and the way it has been poorly handled. First of all, parents don’t *have* to pay for anything in a wedding, unless they are specifically asked by the Groom or Bride. Obviously, the Groom should only address his parents with donation of money as the Bride should only discuss her parents money. In this case, it seems your brother is the one who needs to step in here and talk with both parents.

If Dad is **volunteering** to pay then he needs to pay and not expect Mom to pay anything, especially if they are no longer sharing the same income or roof. Mom seems to not have wanted to pay for anything, which is her right to say yes or no to it.

So, in this instance, the Mom is right. She does not have to pay for anything unless she wants to. This is not a requirement for your Bride and Groom to get married, this is a volunteer basis only.

Also Bride and Groom need to remember this golden rule: “Whoever pays gets a say.” Which means if someone is shelling out the bucks and wants them to invite Great-Grandma who smells and pinches their cheeks then they have to. So, in some cases it might be better to be more independent with paying for the wedding than having to bow down to financers requests.

Traditional Etiquette for Groom Family to Pay:
- Marriage License
- Officiant fee
- Grooms Outfit
- Bride’s bouquet, going away corsage, boutonnieres, corsages
- Complete Honeymoon
- Plan and host engagement party (Bride’s family can also do this)
- Plan and host rehearsal dinner
- Host and plans bachelors dinner
- Both of bride’s rings

Kinda adds up if it were required doesn’t it?
 
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