I will need your help!!

  • Thread starter Thread starter magpie1970
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Sweetie get out of the house can you go somewhere. Get that crap out of your house if you can. Can you call someone to come and get it. I couldn't have it in the house without breaking down and using it. I am gonna pray for you that is the worse having it there can your hubby take it with him so its not around you. Can you get to a meeting NA or AA? You are doing great by not using, I know your pain. this disease is a killer literally, thats what I know to be true one of my frienRAB just OD'd. His funeral is today, leaves behind family and frienRAB because of this disease. I don't want that to happen to you. Cuz all your frienRAB here would lose out on a wonderful friend. Remeraber we need you as much as you need us. Just take it one minute at a time, till you can go to sleep and forget about that junk for a while and wake up clean and sober!!!! Take care and know we are here for you.

Love ya,
Lori
 
Hi CC,

I know what you are feeling right now and know that it's not fun in the least. I also know that you have it in you to beat this. It will be a rough few days, but you can do it.

You have a long road ahead of you, but it is possible to beat this. When you feel ok enough, you may want to start journaling. It helped me quite a bit and when I feel like using I have something to look back on (as if the memories of wd's weren't enought) and remind myself of how far I have come.

We may be on other sides of the ocean, but we are here for you. I'm sending positive thoughts your way and I hope that you get them.

{{{{{hugs}}}}} Mags
 
Aere you doing okay buddy? You said in a different thread that you fainted! I just wanted to make sure you are doing okay!!!!

Let us know.. Thinking of you honey!
XOXOOXOX
 
Lugar

I read your posts and my first thought is how can I help? I have been there... I am not sure what to say, so many others have said kind and helpful worRAB. Your struggle is yours alone and in a sense it is a beautiful and genuine aspect of a special person. To do what you are doing (and many of us) is the bravest thing in the world. Keep going.
 
CC my Angel,

I am so sorry you are feeling so low!!!!!!!! That makes my heart sad. If I was there you know what I would do.. HUG THE CRAP OUT OF YOU! Take you for a long walk in your beautiful country and we would talk it out.

The emotional rollercoaster is a hard on my friend and the mental part of this battle is worse than the physical. You ARE a good person. You are a BEAUTIFUL person. You have a heart of gold so don't think for one second that you are crap because let me tell you... YOU ARE NOT... You mean the world to me and a lot of people... that would not be the case if you were a crappy person.

I wish I had a computer at home so I could talk more with you tonight.. I get off in 10 minutes love so HANG IN THERE.. The cloud will change and go away at some point.. We just have to be strong and stick it out until it does.

Sending you much love and a little sunshine!
XOXOXOOXOX
 
Hi CC! I hope this day finRAB you okay. I am sorry I haven't gotten to you sooner but thngs have been awry round here. I lost one of my best girlfrienRAB to a heroin overdose a few years ago,very painful. She was married and had 3 children and she was a good person with a bad problem as I know we all are. When I was coming off of painpills 5 years ago, my dr put me on meth also to help me with wd's. Plus he gave me scripts of pain medication to wean off of. Needless to say I was a hot mess. He did not know what he was doing. So here I was taking my Lortab along with methadone and I felt just great! I finally went into treatment for 2 weeks after he realized that he was not helping me~just hurting me. I relapsed several times after I got out because I did not work the program. Well I don't do pills anymore as you know I now drink and go yet again to treatment in 9 days. I know how you are feeling and I wish I could make it all go away but we are the only one that can do that for ourselves. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers n hang tough my friend. Please let me know how you are doing darlin'

Linda
 
CC,

you there today honey? Just wanted to see how your Dr's appointment went! Been thinking about you!
XOXOXOXOXO
 
CC & Secrets:

Isn't it funny how we have never seen even a picture of each other and yet we carry each other in our minRAB and in our hearts. When I am off at a meeting or just driving I will think about you guys (no Lie). I just crack up. CC you better get on here and tell us what your doin. Were worried and thats not good cuz I gotta work today. (ok so I'm tryin to guilt you in to telling us how you feel) Sorry!!!!

Secrets you doing awesome, keep up the Good Work.

Love ya guys,

Lori
 
Going to have to log off now in a few minutes but just wanted to say one more thing to you........

I BELIEVE IN YOU! I have your back and I will pray my heart out tonight for you. I hate that you have this dang cloud over your head right now... It's amazing to feel this way about someone I have never seen but I wish I could just see you, and we could cry it out.... I have a picture in my mind of what you look like but I am probably way off. I don't even know how old you are.. None of it matters... I just know I have a friend in you and you have one in me.

Cravings suck and I have them daily.. all day long... Makes me so angry sometimes.... BUT.... on the brighter side, you have a spotless house..... maybe paint your nails or something.. Organize a closet... Anything.

I have to go now.. Just know I will be praying and thinking of you big time tonight!
I love you MATE!
XOXOXOX
 
Hi everyone! CC we are all here to help and encourge you. I admire your strengh and honesty. You help and encourge all the good people on this board, now we can be here to encourge you in your struggles. Your never alone CC, post as often as you need to for encourgement and love! Give us an update of how you are doing! Crocheting
 
Lugar, I am so sorry to hear of your struggles. I know how absolutely horrible you are feeling, and it makes it really difficult if you know relief is in the house....despite the fact that relief will only be temporary. Please stay strong, and know that we are here for you.

Mags, how do you do "journaling"? Like the old "diary"? I'd like to do that, but I guess it would have to be on the computer since my hand nurabness makes it difficult to write. I think it would be helpful to put my feelings in writing, then read it if I'm ever tempted to stop my taper or pick up a painkiller again.
 
Looking for an update CC... I don't want to get into trouble by singling people out but you are usually on by now.... I responded last night (below)

I hope you are okay!
Love you!
 
Thanks for all your support mates. Your positive energy has moved the dark cloud away from me just a little bit today and the sunshine is poking through a bit more. Ive had a good day...done the proper bird stuff and had me hair done and coffee with a couple girlfrienRAB (clean ones). I have managed to stick to quota today so just have to hang on in there a few more hours and I can cross the day off with success!! I really want to make today.
I have another drs appt tomorrow to see how my blood pressure is and have a few more tests (relating to the fainting spell last week). Will keep you posted on how it goes.
Secrets,my MATE,hows that noggin of yours...and the resr of you to boot? Are you still very sore all over? Are the cravings any better today? I know,I know - lots of questions but its only cause I care bout you very much. I often wonder what you're up too and how the days treating you ... if only I could just pop round and see you face to face. Boy,would there be some tears or what? Good ones,of course. You're doing so bleedin well...Im proud of you all the time and just know that there are great things in store for you. Hope the home thingy better too. Let me know,poppit.
OK...love to you all
CC xoxoxox
 
Sorry ,my mate,its been a busy day today. Yes I went to drs and told him all Id been up to recently . I can shoot from the hip with him so no bullshit. Anyhoo,he seemed to feel that Id pushed it too hard. Tried to continue as normal with work,kiRAB,home etc plus go CT. Said my body just aint goin to handle that as Ive been using to many years. Need to take it slowly. My blood pressure was bottomed out too,so have to go for some tests late next week.Will let you know what the crack is with them too. I guess I have to learn to calm down a bit and not push the boundaries like crazy...its hard cause I want this BAD but I suppose baby steps are OK as long as Im headed in the right direction,eh?
Anyways......how bout you? I have been worried about your noodle,poppit? I will check on your thread to see if theres an update there. At least you're back at work so you must be reasonable.....sure YOU arent pushing too hard? We all cant get sick!!!
Secrets,how do you feel after the weekend? I do hope your not beating yourself up over it all still. Its OK,y'know? You're still here and still on track. You are awesome.
Let me know what up,wont you?
love as always,my matey,
CC xoxoxox
 
It is crazy Lori but I love it!!!

I feel at home when I am on here and I consider it a blessing. Hopefully CC will get her british butt back on here and give us an update! hahahhaaha
XOXOOXOOXXO
 
Hey!

I am glad to hear your spirits have lifted a little! I think it's great you went and got your hair done and had coffee with the girls! That is so GREAT! I am happy you went out and did that for yourself!

I am so proud of you for sticking to your quota today! You keep going girl. Just a few more hours and then it's another day of success. I am very proud of you! Good luck tomorrow at the Dr! Please keep us updated on how that goes!!! I am worried about your blood pressure and will say some prayers tonight for you.

I am doing about the same. The Dr. said that is to be expected and that it will be a good week before I notice much of a change.. Then about a good month before I feel a lot better.. He said these sort of injuries just take time. I will be fine though! My head is doing good actually besides this STUPID cold I woke up with yesterday morning. I sound like a 90 year old man who has been smoking for 80 of the 90 years of his life! hahhaa

I know.. could you imagine if we saw each other face to face! I would just die! It would be so great to be able to actually look at you and give you a real hug and cry with you! It would be awesome! If I had lots of money I would totally make the trip!

Things at home are hopefully going to be getting better. I think my husband found a job yesterday! We are just waiting for a call back.. So that is a little stressful.... My birthday is coming up (April 1st) and i know the hubby is sad to not be able to do much of anything for it yet again.... He talked about it again last night..... It seems like every year around my birthday something comes up (car brakes down or he gets laid off) and he can't get me a gift and then he feels bad because I always spoil him for his.. However, I like to give more than receive anyways but I know it bothers him. I think once he gets working again his self esteem will get better and we both will mesh better again.. (my fingers are crossed) I still have been batteling with cravings but I flushed those last vicodins and I still can't believe I did it. Now i am having terrible cravings and I think it's a blessing I flushed them! I hurt all over and I know I would have taken them tonight!

Well, I have officially made your eyes sore by typing so much AGAIN.... I hope you get thru tonight.. I am CHEERING over here for you.. GO CC, GO CC, COME ON EVERYBODY... GO CC.. GO CC......

I love you honey! Take care and may God Bless you tonight!
XOXOXXOX
 
:wave:Hello my mates. Sorry for being so late today but Ive been busy like a loon today.....cleaning,cleaning,and cleaning. What is it with that? Ive never had the urge to buff a loo till it shines EVER before in me life! So,this morning I woke up in a cluck (starts of WD for all you Yankee-doodle dandies!) and my meth wasnt settling me at all. My legs hurt so much,hot/cold sweats yadayada. So,I used my daily bit of gear that hubby and I are splitting to wean down this morning. So,this afternoon I was at a real loose end not knowing what to do with myself or how to cope with no gear. So,hence the cleaning. I was determined not to score more than I was allowing myself cause of what happened at the w/e. Dont want to go there again EVER if I can help it. Hence the cleaning frenzy. Now Im knackered and longing for a hot bath before bed. Im worried that tomorrow Ill wake up in the same way though cause Ive used earlier than I should of,but I will have to drag myself intgo work and get on with it for a few hours.
Thanks for all your kind worRAB of encouragement..the post I wrote last night was a tough one to do. But I will always be honest with you guys. Its the only way to get the help and advice I really need.
Secrets..you are such a diamond lass. How are you getting on? Drs went Ok yesterday for me but he tells me my blood pressure is saying slow down. More tests...and probably another needle in me bum....Friday.
OK..off for me bath and will post you again soon before bed...and hopefully before you go home.
Loves to ya poppit
CC xoxox
 
Hey Sweets,

HOLY COW you really kept busy today.... I mean if you were that arabitious you could have at least headed over to my house to do a little over there.. I mean it's not THAT far out of the way from your house! hhahahhaa

I am proud of you. IT had to be hard. Very hard. You just get thru each hour right now okay. Don't think about tomorrow. You will deal with tomorrow when it gets here. RIght now.. Worry about right now and no further. Us addicts sometimes set ourselves up for failure if we expect badness to hit then sure enough... IT WILL!

I am so glad you were honest with us!!!! I am sure it was not easy to write and even harder to have those feelings. It just hurt me so bad knowing you were hurting so badly. I just wish I could make things better for you!

I hope your bath helped calm your arms and legs.... calmed your whole body and then you can hop into bed. May tonight you sleep easy and have peaceful dreams! Much love to you.
XOXOXOXOXOX
 
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