Jimmy Man The Great
New member
...another woman ? my wife just so happened to have gone into that part of the city that morning, as one of the locations of her work is there.
basicaly I think it was her, because when I glanced across she turned around and marched off. My guess, sobbing all the way.
hey, I think she thinks I'm having an affair with another woman !
but im not you see.
thats just it.
i'm not.
whether I have had sex with this woman or not, is a matter of her proving it.
If it can't be proved then she can't accuse me of having done anything right ?
well, I recieved a text message from a wifes friend saying 'you b***ard, what have you done to her now ? shes at my place crying her senses out'.
i realised my wife was now in the safe sanctuary of her 'female support group', her closest trustees and aidees in matters of distress.
i hate those women. They've turned MY wife against ME.
every time I called the house she was at, one of her female pals would answer the phone with " go away - stop calling, she doesnt want to speak to you right now " , and simply hang up on me.
I decided that the only way out of this predicament was to conjure up a 'heartbreaking' story of my own...
so i went to a chemist and brought some harmless eye drops, 2 chillis from a grocery store and emailed myself a 'fake email' using one of my alternative email addresses.
in that email, I assumed the identify of a fictitious mother of a fictitious friend, who'd tragicaly 'lost his battle to cancer' at the tender age of just 45.
I unbuttoned a few shirt buttons, roughed up my collar creased up my suit the best way I could - and applied the eye drops into my eyes and then sniffed and rubbed some chilis into my eyes too !
then i thought about every possible thing that could make me cry, and did my hardest to cry.
i knocked at the wifes friends house, crocadile tears streaming down my face - i could hear my wife sobbing inside and being comforted by one of her female pals.
when one of them opened the door, i flung myself into her arms - hysterical, in tears.
" whhyyyyyy ? whyyyyyyyyyy !??'
i was let inside and everyone looked a bit confused and surprised.
i sat down over a coffee with the ladies including my wife, and explained to them the tragic news that a close childhood pal had lost his battle to cancer....and died.
they let me fire up a PC, and log into my email account - so i could show them the email my 'fake friends' mom sent me.
they all felt confused and surprised, as they were preparing themselves to assist my wife in filing for a divorce...but were now confronted with a man who was x10 more upset than his wife !
my wife began to ask questions about my friend, as did all her friends...
wiping away tears, I woefully explained it all...
they all consoled me too !
hey, in the end they were all like 'we're sorry about your friend - if u need to come here for a shoulder to cry on...'
phew but i kid you not, i almost destroyed my marriage yesterday !
good thing then my smarts got me out of deepsh1t again eh ?
basicaly I think it was her, because when I glanced across she turned around and marched off. My guess, sobbing all the way.
hey, I think she thinks I'm having an affair with another woman !
but im not you see.
thats just it.
i'm not.
whether I have had sex with this woman or not, is a matter of her proving it.
If it can't be proved then she can't accuse me of having done anything right ?
well, I recieved a text message from a wifes friend saying 'you b***ard, what have you done to her now ? shes at my place crying her senses out'.
i realised my wife was now in the safe sanctuary of her 'female support group', her closest trustees and aidees in matters of distress.
i hate those women. They've turned MY wife against ME.
every time I called the house she was at, one of her female pals would answer the phone with " go away - stop calling, she doesnt want to speak to you right now " , and simply hang up on me.
I decided that the only way out of this predicament was to conjure up a 'heartbreaking' story of my own...
so i went to a chemist and brought some harmless eye drops, 2 chillis from a grocery store and emailed myself a 'fake email' using one of my alternative email addresses.
in that email, I assumed the identify of a fictitious mother of a fictitious friend, who'd tragicaly 'lost his battle to cancer' at the tender age of just 45.
I unbuttoned a few shirt buttons, roughed up my collar creased up my suit the best way I could - and applied the eye drops into my eyes and then sniffed and rubbed some chilis into my eyes too !
then i thought about every possible thing that could make me cry, and did my hardest to cry.
i knocked at the wifes friends house, crocadile tears streaming down my face - i could hear my wife sobbing inside and being comforted by one of her female pals.
when one of them opened the door, i flung myself into her arms - hysterical, in tears.
" whhyyyyyy ? whyyyyyyyyyy !??'
i was let inside and everyone looked a bit confused and surprised.
i sat down over a coffee with the ladies including my wife, and explained to them the tragic news that a close childhood pal had lost his battle to cancer....and died.
they let me fire up a PC, and log into my email account - so i could show them the email my 'fake friends' mom sent me.
they all felt confused and surprised, as they were preparing themselves to assist my wife in filing for a divorce...but were now confronted with a man who was x10 more upset than his wife !
my wife began to ask questions about my friend, as did all her friends...
wiping away tears, I woefully explained it all...
they all consoled me too !
hey, in the end they were all like 'we're sorry about your friend - if u need to come here for a shoulder to cry on...'
phew but i kid you not, i almost destroyed my marriage yesterday !
good thing then my smarts got me out of deepsh1t again eh ?