...anything to keep me? I've been with my husband for nearly 11 years now. He has a temper and will have a temper tantrum if he doesn't get his way. About once a month, his temper is directed at me. He'll say things like "I'm not f--king going!" or "Shut the f--k up!" and he'll go on and on and rant and rave endlessly when he has one of these tantrums. Besides the tantrums, he also practically ignores me in favor of TV or playing on the internet. I try to get his attention, but he won't give it. I try to ask him about what he's doing and he won't talk to me. I sit by him on the couch and he says I'm crowding him out. He won't say "I love you" or "goodnight" to me unless he "really feels like it." I've been seeing a psychologist and she said this is emotional abuse. Whatever it's called, it doesn't make me feel good at all. He also never compliments me and, in fact, criticizes my appearance. On top of this, I feel like we have different interests...I'm much more of a people person and I like to have fun. He says he hates people and he's very negative. I fell like half the time I'm trying to get him into a good mood or make him laugh so we get some enjoyment in life. I also feel like we have different interests....our taste in music, movies, and our hobbies are completely different. I would love to travel the world, but he's afraid to leave the United States. We have had good times, but I just know that they outweigh everything else. Well, I told him yesterday that I wanted to separate and he basically told me "whatever" at the time. Today, he called me all crying and saying that he'd do anything to be with me. Two years ago, he almost cheated on me (he asked a girl out and she turned him down), and I told him at the time that I wanted us to go to counseling, but he refused. Now, he says he'll go, but I don't know if I want to bother with it. I just don't feel that I have the energy or desire. I really felt like I had my mind made up yesterday. On the other hand, I also don't want to make a rash decision. I realize that this is my decision, but based upon what I've said here, do you think this marriage is worth trying to save?
When I talked to him today, I told him (again) about some of the issues. One is that he never wants to listen to me. Like when I get home from work, I try to tell him about my day and he says he "doesn't want to hear it." I meantioned that today as something that bothered me and he said he still doesn't want to hear it and said "don't you have someone at work you can talk to about that?" I want to be able to tell my husband when something is bothering me, you know?
He's also unemployed and I'm his sole financial support, so I think he may be panicking. I told him that I'd continue to support him for awhile so he won't be thrown out in the snow or something.
We do not have kids (thank goodness). Although I'd like to have kids, I didn't want to bring them into this.
As for our differences, I married him in the first place because, frankly, he was my first boyfriend and I was happy to have someone. That was stupid, I know. You don't need to tell me. I loved him, but I should've kept looking. Our differences have gotten more pronounced over time.
I'm 36 and he's 39.
As for sex, almost the only time he kisses me is when he wants sex. I typically am not interesting in having sex because I don't feel emotionally close to him. He says I'm "frigid" -- I'm not. I have felt sexual attraction and desire toward other men (never acted on it though).
When I talked to him today, I told him (again) about some of the issues. One is that he never wants to listen to me. Like when I get home from work, I try to tell him about my day and he says he "doesn't want to hear it." I meantioned that today as something that bothered me and he said he still doesn't want to hear it and said "don't you have someone at work you can talk to about that?" I want to be able to tell my husband when something is bothering me, you know?
He's also unemployed and I'm his sole financial support, so I think he may be panicking. I told him that I'd continue to support him for awhile so he won't be thrown out in the snow or something.
We do not have kids (thank goodness). Although I'd like to have kids, I didn't want to bring them into this.
As for our differences, I married him in the first place because, frankly, he was my first boyfriend and I was happy to have someone. That was stupid, I know. You don't need to tell me. I loved him, but I should've kept looking. Our differences have gotten more pronounced over time.
I'm 36 and he's 39.
As for sex, almost the only time he kisses me is when he wants sex. I typically am not interesting in having sex because I don't feel emotionally close to him. He says I'm "frigid" -- I'm not. I have felt sexual attraction and desire toward other men (never acted on it though).