Double Angel
New member
Often I make friends with women in my life, we grow close but then I start to fall in love with them. I start to obsess over them, I will stay their friend in the meantime, and try to drop extremely subtle hints that I would like to date this person, in the meantime I research as much as I can about this person, I feel that I know some of the subjects of my stalking well enough to ghost write their autobiographies. I enjoy the process and while I do acknowledge the flaws of my subjects I will either stop stalking if they are in my opinion immoral, or try to step back to see if it is something I could live with. While I do speak to most of those I stalk I don't like to interfere with their lives, if I do interfere I don't like to take the credit for it. I'm not sure if this is out of fear of being caught or feeling of undeserving.
For example, I came to realize that the girl I was stalking was having financial difficulties, so I dipped into my savings sent a doctored letter to her claiming to be from her school's financial aid office and telling her she had been selected for an additional grant from an anonymous benefactor.
Whenever I either get a negative response or no response I try to move to the background. I stop dropping hints, pretend that I see this person as nothing more than a platonic friend, and continue to monitor their lives from afar only intervening when they need help, and never revealing the origin of the assistance. I'm not sure if this has anything to do with the type of stalker I am, but the subjects of my stalking are people I feel are more perfect than myself.
There are 2 girls I am currently stalking, one is a 21 year old with lung cancer who is working 3 jobs to pay for her treatments. She shows kindness to everyone who enters her life and seems to try her best to make people happy and as comfortable as possible, She also has kept her condition a secret from her family and all but a few friends. I kind of stumbled across this information in her personnel file. She is a very friendly girl who in my opinion is trying to live her life to the fullest because she thinks she is going to die.
The other girl I stalk lives in another state, I used to stalk her when i lived in that state. She a close friend who had a crush on her commit suicide after the two of them ended up going to different high schools. She participates in many charities, is quite popular, has issues with self esteem, and is very loving. The lost of her close friend from middle school, and the feeling of being an outcast causes her to try extra hard to be liked, and she is a bit overly affectionate. I believe she feels guilt about her friend and this is what shapes her behavior.
I'm pretty sure I'm crazy and I know I have a God Complex, but I don't know if I would be considered a stalker since I try my hardest to avoid getting involved and even though I do have feelings for these women I don't fool myself into believing that I will ever have a chance with them. In fact often enough I end up sabotaging myself. I'm not sure why, I'd like to pretend that it was because I am happier getting to know them from afar, but it is probably something more of a self esteem issue ind I feel unworthy of them deep down.
For example, I came to realize that the girl I was stalking was having financial difficulties, so I dipped into my savings sent a doctored letter to her claiming to be from her school's financial aid office and telling her she had been selected for an additional grant from an anonymous benefactor.
Whenever I either get a negative response or no response I try to move to the background. I stop dropping hints, pretend that I see this person as nothing more than a platonic friend, and continue to monitor their lives from afar only intervening when they need help, and never revealing the origin of the assistance. I'm not sure if this has anything to do with the type of stalker I am, but the subjects of my stalking are people I feel are more perfect than myself.
There are 2 girls I am currently stalking, one is a 21 year old with lung cancer who is working 3 jobs to pay for her treatments. She shows kindness to everyone who enters her life and seems to try her best to make people happy and as comfortable as possible, She also has kept her condition a secret from her family and all but a few friends. I kind of stumbled across this information in her personnel file. She is a very friendly girl who in my opinion is trying to live her life to the fullest because she thinks she is going to die.
The other girl I stalk lives in another state, I used to stalk her when i lived in that state. She a close friend who had a crush on her commit suicide after the two of them ended up going to different high schools. She participates in many charities, is quite popular, has issues with self esteem, and is very loving. The lost of her close friend from middle school, and the feeling of being an outcast causes her to try extra hard to be liked, and she is a bit overly affectionate. I believe she feels guilt about her friend and this is what shapes her behavior.
I'm pretty sure I'm crazy and I know I have a God Complex, but I don't know if I would be considered a stalker since I try my hardest to avoid getting involved and even though I do have feelings for these women I don't fool myself into believing that I will ever have a chance with them. In fact often enough I end up sabotaging myself. I'm not sure why, I'd like to pretend that it was because I am happier getting to know them from afar, but it is probably something more of a self esteem issue ind I feel unworthy of them deep down.