I feel like I'm on an insane rollercoaster right now. This morning I felt great - so proud of myself, so happy to be almost through with the physical w/d symptoms. Within a few hours I just hit bottom mentally and I can't seem to pick myself up right now. Nothing is making me happy - not even the stuff I love to do. I know I'm dragging everyone around me down and I hate that - my girls and my husband don't deserve this.
I've started a B Vitamin Complex hoping it would help some - I really don't want to start another medication, ya' know? What's making this worse is that my mouth is killing me (I have a tooth that desperately neeRAB to be pulled) while I was on the Vicodin I didn't have the issue of mouth pain but now, on top of w/d I do. It's just bringing me down more, even though I know logically it's an easy remedy (just get it pulled LOL).
That stupid voice in the back of my head keeps telling me that I didn't feel like this on the pills - why am I doing this to myself? I really, really HATE this. Thanks for listening to me vent.
Just wanted to share... I has an infected tooth while in withdrawal tapering.... I got some clove oil at the healthfood store... was only $2-$3. It worked better than novacaine! Try it and at least keep the pain at bay. I understand the agony of the mental aspect of withdrawal... you sure don't ned the pain of a bad tooth to complicate it more.
Best wishes... know that the mental part eases up as time goes on.
I know.... the mental part of this is TERRIBLE. I am sorry you are going up and down with your emotions. I remeraber that part of it so well and I personally think the mental part of this is worse than the physical withdrawals. (for me anyways) However, this too will pass.. You just have to give your mind time to heal too along with your body. YOU CAN DO THIS. You DON'T need the vicodin to make yourself feel better. The normal joys of life will come back to you.. it just takes time.. I know its miserable but I know enjoy doing the things I used to do again with out taking the pills to feel like i am having fun.
Right now your body is going thru a big transition and right now you need to dig down deep and find that strength that I KNOW is in there. Your family will bounce back from this.. right now you have to focus on getting yourself thru each moment! Keep posting.. it will help.. Keep reading.. that will help too.
I am sorry to hear about your tooth ache. That is MISERABLE. Maybe you can get in next week to get that taken out? You do not need that on top of everything else right now. Also, try that stuff that Reachout suggested for now... Any relief would be good right now.
TO be honest I remeraber going thru withdrawals and actually in my head (I know this is sick and erabarrassing for me to admit) I wished for some sort of injury so that I could go have a valid excuse for needed the pills.. Then I came to my senses and realized that I quit by choice and it was something that was extremely important to do if I wanted to become a mother and good role model for people around me. You can do this.. I am here for you.. Vent away... nothing you say will be judged here.. I have never been able to be as honest as I am on here because I know no matter what I say.. someone will understand.
Hang in there friend. You are going to be alright!
~Secrets
Yesterday was AWFUL. I haven't cried like that in years. I was yelling at everybody then breaking down in tears. I knew I was hurting my husband - he was breaking right along with me. He didn't know what to do. He even suggested half of a Darvocet just to get me through - a part of me rejoiced and wanted so badly to do it. The other part was screaming NO at me.
I'm proud to say I didn't. I didn't touch a pill - it sucked and my brain was :dizzy: but I didn't cave in.
Today is a little bit better, I'm staying busy and trying to focus on all the positives. I'm trying to focus on the fact that I don't need a pill to make me happy.
Thanks for listening you two - I really appreciate it.
I just want you to know that it does get better. Hang in there. I personally thought that the mental part of withdraw was worse than the physical part, at least, for me. It took me about 10 days for the mental part to go away, but it did. It will for you too. Take deep breaths and tell yourself that this too shall pass. You are doing great and you are WORTH it!!!
I couldn't agree more - the physical w/d sucked, but it is NOTHING compared to the mental part right now. I feel insane when I say I'd rather have the nausea/insomnia/restlessness back - just so I don't have to feel so sad and hollow.
But you're right. This part will be over soon too - thanks TaCot!
Hang in there! The the physical w/d's lead to the mental part that caused me to relapse two days ago. I was so pissed off and disappointed with myself minutes after taking my pill and especially the next day. But, the people on this forum helped me and as a result I have modified my "plan" and I think I have a better course of action now. Lean on the group for support. Try to keep yourself busy when the mental part becomes unbearable. I usually come onto this forum during those times to keep my mind busy.
