I need to vent.

O

OwlTotem

New member
;914161']I'm at a difficult spot in my life.

My career is fine... even though I almost got into trouble for running a lottery at the barracks. The commander thought it was funny. Especially when I described it to her as "one of the best ideas I've ever had".

I'm at this wierd point. I can't go into detail, really...

Have you ever had the things you wanted in life... but then you got so comfortable not having them, that you were stressed out when you did have them? Like it was all smothering you?

I just want to be left alone. I want to drink by myself, build fucking models, watch TV, and play video games and I don't want anyone to bother me until I come out. I'm not saying total isolation, but some aspects of my personal life are crowding me. And I hate it.
 
I think I sort of get it. I get that way in relationships. There's nothing I crave more than to be in love, but when it happens, the more serious it gets, and the stronger the feelings become, the more alone time I need in order to not be a total basket case and/or loose my temper. This usually leads to the end of the relationship.

I hope this doesn't lead you to loose the good things in your life. Cheer up bro.
 
That's why I like the internet. I think it's much easier to get along with fellow sociopaths...especially when they're on the other side of a screen and/or just a figment of my imagination.
 
It seems to me that you've found that place I like to call "my cave"

Every now and then, I get sick of it all. I hate my cell phone for ringing, I hate my work for making me leave the house, and I hate my husband for reminding me that I made a commitment to something other than myself. Doctors have given me different meds for this, but they don't really work as it's random and unpredictable.

My problem is the lack of steady activity in my life. It's the line "when it rains, it pours" for me when it comes to friends/family commitments. Then there are dry spells, where I know I should be making some calls, but everybody's doing their own thing.

When I get into "my cave" I just want to do things for me, like take long baths and forget everybody else. The worst part of it is the reality TV... I get addicted to horrible reality TV shows when I'm in the cave. They make me feel better, and I get somewhat spitefull in wanting to see bad things happen to people. Then one day, WHAM... the phone rings and I'm happy to answer it. The sun comes out and I want to bar-b-que with friends...

There's nothing wrong with crawling into your cave and doing things that make you happy. Just make sure you're not there too long, or your friends and loved ones will come looking for you, and asking about your meds....
 
So like Jenna Jameson and Rocco Siffredi? Or anatomically correct He-Man characters? Like the Fisto?

Seriously though, what is it about social relationships that make it so difficult? Or is it just that now that you have gotten everything you wanted something still appears to be missing? Like you've built yourslef around the image of "getting there" and now that you are there you have no direction anymore as your motivation has dropped?
 
A lot of life is about the journey, not really the finished products, so to speak, so once something is obtained, well, there you are, nothing to yearn for.

So that is why you can have some but not all otherwise you will end up like some of the super rich. They are bored and have everything so they end up with weird obesssions and fetishes.

So yeah, I know what you mean. Me, personally I would just like to not have to stress so goddamn much about money. Its been a huge thing this year, it's affecting me greatly and sometimes I just don't know what to do. But I guess that is different b/c money affects more than toys and fun stuff, it addresses basic needs. Anyway I am rambling...
 
hm, what im afraid of in life and this is a reason I am a total failure at times, is I am afraid that when I set my goals, I will get them and then I will have everything I wanted, but nothing else to do... Its hard to explain the total feeling but by acheaving everything I will have no other reason for life. So in the process I set near impossable goals so I will allways have something to fight for =. may someone PM me if this seems right or am I just being dramatic?
 
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