i need some advice my mother in law was coming over everyday since we had our...

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threestarskwel

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...baby which is now 3 months old? finally i felt like she invaded my space and asked my husband to talk to her and tell her something well he did and when he did she started crying trying to make him feel bad . she demands that she see the baby everyday for at least thirty minutes a day and if we dont take the baby to her she comes to our house everyday mind you do you think im wrong for wanting my space with my first baby or does what she want fair pls help husband is a mommas boy and doesnt understand my side of things
 
If she can't respect your boundaries and get herself under control it sounds like you guys are going to have to move out-of-state. Its the answer to all intrusive in-laws, trust me.
 
I'm 56 years old, a mother of 2 daughters and a grandmother of 4 granddaughters. Your mother in law is interfering in your relationship with your child and husband. She needs to know that you appreciate her help and will be glad to set up a regular schedule of visitation for her and the baby. You might suggest once a week or more if you have an outing planned. You need time away as most new parents and those times will be perfect for a grandmother to bond with the new baby. It's time to learn to be assertive not aggressive with her. I suppose you are an adult completely capable of handling a baby. Good luck!
 
Once a week is more than enough......she sounds like she's becoming obsessive over the baby....

Well, Sweetie, you're gonna have to be the heavy here....tell her the daily visits are too much and are interfering in Mommy/Baby bonding time...and that you yourself need some space........set up a visiting day, once a week..but don't set it into stone...if it has to be changed for another day depending on scheduals then do so...do you have a FIL?...talk to him & tell him it's too much, the daily visit...see if he can help.

If she cries, let her...tell her her daily visits are disruptive to your family life and are obsessive on her part....

The obsession will get even worse with time....it needs to be addressed now.

And if you have to be polite but tough about it...do so. It's your baby, Hon....remind her....and encourage her to develope other interests, to focus in on one thing or one person is very, very unhealthy...good luck.
 
This will get worse over time and is abnormal behavior on her part. It could eventually destroy your marriage over time. I would (a.) tell my husband that she can not... repeat, can not come over every day and that she is to call before she comes, and (b.) I would tell her next time she comes over that she has to call ahead ahead as you may not be home or may not be ready to receive a "visitor". Stay on message, don't get side tracked, and make your message about you, your feelings, and your life. And then next time when she comes uninvited, or unannounced, meet her at the door and say "now is not a good time, can you come tomorrow?
 
You did the right thing. Going to your husband and asking him to communicate this problem was the best way to handle it. Unfortunately, your not going to get to be the nice gal in this situation and that is not your fault either. My husband has to call his Mom and Dad every time something comes up. Like he need there permission to buy a car or a house and they need to write out a bill of approval. we have moved 4 states over and it is the greatest thing we have ever done. Just food for thought.
 
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