i need reassurance and help

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Tazz123

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Hi there. I know how u are feeling as I have been married to an addict for the past 8 years. I only found out 5 years ago and have stuck around to try and help him. What I have finally realised is that you can't help him, he neeRAB to help himself. I love my husband with all my heart and never left him even after relapse after relapse, guess what, he has left me!!! If you want to stay with him you have to put up with the drugs and you will never be able to fight them....drugs are stronger than you. He most likely loves you to bits but the 'love' for the drug is stronger than you or I will ever imagine. Nobody can give you the answer of whether to leave him or not, only you can decide that. As soon as the unhappy days with your husband are more than the happy days, then start thinking what to do. Believe me, I never wanted a divorce, as I still love the man I use to know but he is not there as much anymore and I ask myself do I want to live my life constantly worrying and waiting for the next relapse, the next lie and the next time he picks a fight for no reason as an excuse to leave and do his drugs. Stay Strong sweetie and don't give up on yourself or your baby.
 
My husband is an addict and he has relapsed twice since we have been married. The first time I gave him the benefit of the doubt. He went to a detox program, and started attending meetings and everything was going great. Well, actually not great. It's the only thing that I can think about from the time I go to bed to the time I wake up. He has relapsed again, and I told him if he ever did relapse again, I was going to take our son and leave. I found out yesterday morning, so I took our son and left to come to my parents house. I have so many mixed emotions going on. I have my family telling me to stay away because he'll just do it again..and again..and again. I have others telling me maybe we should try to work it out. I love him so much. We have been together for 3 years, and have a 17 month old son. I don't know if I should try to work it out, or if I should just get an anullment or divorce. I mean, is it really fair to put myself and my son through this for the sake of our marriage? I guess I am just trying to get some advice from others out there. :(
 
AMEN! HE has to help himself. You can't do it for him. If he won't get help and stay completely honest with you during relapse, well, your son and you deserve BETTER! Your son is young now, but it is only a matter of time that he realizes that something is wrong with daddy. Do you want that?! My son is only 4.5 yrs old and KNOWS something is wrong with daddy and it breaks my heart. My husband gets supervised visitation at his parent's home and the man can't stay sober for a day to enjoy it with his son. It doesn't mean that my husband doesn't love his child...I know he loves him, it just means that the addiction has that much control over his life. Demand he gets help. If he doesn't, please run. Run, run, run! I am so sorry that you have to deal with this. I know first hand about a spouse's destructive lifestyle. Love yourself enough to demand better. I went through years of feeling guilty and wanting to help him cause I loved him. He has to help himself.
 
Well, I guess I am hearing the other side for the first time., I am a mother of two 1 and 10, both girls and I am an addict. My boyfriend left again after me not wanting to quit. In my head I feel like Im not hurting anyone, but now I see. It is hard for me to see tho. I dont know what to do, I really dont want to quit, what I want is a doctor to prescribe them instead of going to the streets. I know thats an addict talking. I have no drive or arabition without the opiates. You do make good points cincin. I think I love the drug more than myself. I dont know I just thought I would type from a woman addicts point of view. I am going to look into getting help for my family and good luck to you. I just never realized "How" I was hurting them, but now I do. Thanks again for enlightening me.
 
What is your husband addicted to?? Has he been using the whole time, or was he clean for awhile and he just recently fell back into it??
 
hi there, your story is the oppisate of mine, however its me haveing the drug problem and my hubby went to rehab 6yrs ago and remained clean ever since (thank the lord) but i am still an addict and was a lover of percocet for 7yrs and i went to a rapid detox last april and relapsed 3mth later and oxcis became my best friend but to make a long story short my husband new my addiction and because of his rehab and research he knew how to deal with me and to lecture or theaten was certainly not the way, he patiently would bring it up once in awhile and ask how i was doing and i didnt like that part of it but it was only out of concern, i to went to rehab and learned alot about addictions and i think that helped me alot in my progress, well last week i decided to quit the oxys completely and wheen myself off opiates in my way i new how and so far its working, what i did was stop oxys and when i felt anxiety i would take percocet 2 of them in fact and took away withdrawals, then because percs where my best friend for 7yrs i thought i would take an opiate i didnt like so my friend gave me 8 morphine pills to get me thought the week, one in the morn and one at night for the first 2 days (didnt have much withdrawals) nothing to speak of anyways then i went down to one a day and today i will take the last one tonight before bed so i can sleep but i am hoping thats it and i am aware there is still chances of withdrawal but i am ready for them, as for your hubby its the addiction thats overpowering him not him and in rehab u learn its a disease thats so hard to cure, i am sure he loves u so much and hates what hes doing but hes scared of the withdrawals like i was at first..if u can afford it the rapid detox is amazing and i think its the best way of getting off drugs if your heart is in it, i dont think mine was at the time because i relapsed but maybe its helpping me now during my weening process right now cause i have no cravings, etc, i just cannot believe how the past week went but please get your hubby into rehab or a rapid detox (pretty expensive) but a quick way to get off drugs with little to no pain afterwarRAB...he loves u dearly its only the drug thats taking over, luckily my hubby was aware of addiction and was understanding and patient with me or else he would have left long time ago and if that happened no one would be happy if yous luv each other enough...please educate yourself on the desiese and hold in there, i know u luv him and dont want this but relapse is part of recovery believe it or not and patience is so important right now for u, if he refuses rehab then u have to make major decisions...feeling so bad for u right now and i only wish the best for u...in my prayers
 
I honestly dont know much about heroine addiction. I was addicted to pain killers, and I recently had a relapse. I quit cold turkey both times, and it was a nightmare. All I really know about heroine is that its even harder to quit than pain meRAB, the physical addiction is similar, but much stronger.

I can tell you this, if you love him, then you have to try and help him. Not just for your relationship, but for your child. This is probably something he will not be able to do on his own, he will need your help if he is going to get clean.
 
I am having problems with my husbanRAB addiction as well. It's not heroin,but he does many different pain pills and nerve meRAB. all I can advise on is be there and be as suportive as possible. It's not easy to watch someone you love go through all that he will but as long as it happens and he stay clean it's worth the effort...I have been doing this with my husband on and off over the last 2 yrs. It's so hard to watch and you will have trying times, just know the withdrawls arent your husband. Keep in touch and best wishes to you.
 
i to was a lover to percs for 7yrs then went to rapid detox which was amazing with little to no pain but relapsed 3mth later,then oxys became my best friend however i was like u i luved the drug so much, it gave so much energy but thats all i thought about everyday how was i going to get my next fix, my whole evolved around usage of the drug and almost nothing else, but last week i took my last oxy and i am weening myself off as i write this, my friend gave me an opiate that i dont like which helped me last wk with withdrawls, whenever i felt yukky i took that pill i didnt like and it helped, i am a week into it and i am taking my last pill tongiht and hoping everything goes well with little withdrawals..i am expecting alittle but not like cold turkey..no way man did that before and never again...my heart is in it now and my life feels like its changing already, i dont think of drugs anymore, have no cravings, etc, i hope this gives u some insite of what could be done at home at no cost....let me know how u r doing, u will be in my prayers..
 
hi there, your story is the oppisate of mine, however its me haveing the drug problem and my hubby went to rehab 6yrs ago and remained clean ever since (thank the lord) but i am still an addict and was a lover of percocet for 7yrs and i went to a rapid detox last april and relapsed 3mth later and oxcis became my best friend but to make a long story short my husband new my addiction and because of his rehab and research he knew how to deal with me and to lecture or theaten was certainly not the way, he patiently would bring it up once in awhile and ask how i was doing and i didnt like that part of it but it was only out of concern, i to went to rehab and learned alot about addictions and i think that helped me alot in my progress, well last week i decided to quit the oxys completely and wheen myself off opiates in my way i new how and so far its working, what i did was stop oxys and when i felt anxiety i would take percocet 2 of them in fact and took away withdrawals, then because percs where my best friend for 7yrs i thought i would take an opiate i didnt like so my friend gave me 8 morphine pills to get me thought the week, one in the morn and one at night for the first 2 days (didnt have much withdrawals) nothing to speak of anyways then i went down to one a day and today i will take the last one tonight before bed so i can sleep but i am hoping thats it and i am aware there is still chances of withdrawal but i am ready for them, as for your hubby its the addiction thats overpowering him not him and in rehab u learn its a disease thats so hard to cure, i am sure he loves u so much and hates what hes doing but hes scared of the withdrawals like i was at first..if u can afford it the rapid detox is amazing and i think its the best way of getting off drugs if your heart is in it, i dont think mine was at the time because i relapsed but maybe its helpping me now during my weening process right now cause i have no cravings, etc, i just cannot believe how the past week went but please get your hubby into rehab or a rapid detox (pretty expensive) but a quick way to get off drugs with little to no pain afterwarRAB...he loves u dearly its only the drug thats taking over, luckily my hubby was aware of addiction and was understanding and patient with me or else he would have left long time ago and if that happened no one would be happy if yous luv each other enough...please educate yourself on the desiese and hold in there, i know u luv him and dont want this but relapse is part of recovery believe it or not and patience is so important right now for u, if he refuses rehab then u have to make major decisions...feeling so bad for u right now and i only wish the best for u...in my prayers
 
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