I need help talking to my mom about something. (I also need to rant. D:)?

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Aurian

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Recently (or I've just been beginning to notice) my mom has started acting like a hypocrite. She treats me like I'm in pre-school even though I'm in sixth grade, but says that HER mom treats her like a twelve year old, (which offended me a little because I'm eleven,) and when I tried to talk to her about how I felt when she said that, she screamed her head off at me (and she tells me and my brother never to raise their voices at some one.) And she TAUGHT ME that if some one is yelling, I shouldn't get involved. So I told her, "I'm not going to talk to you if you're going to yell. If you would please stop interrupting me then I would be able to tell you what I'm trying to say so that you can understand it, but it's difficult to talk when you're not listening to me." But then she yelled more and cursed (which she also told me also never to do.) So I want a way to talk to her without her biting my head off about this.

I love my mom, she's AWESOME, but her parents always used to yell around her and start fights and all, and her brothers and sisters learned to do this too, so now I have grandparents, an aunt, and an uncle, with anger issues. (My other aunt is normal.) She has a little trouble controlling her anger, and she does REALLY well, but some times it gets out of hand. I mean, she tries so hard not to have us grow up like she did, but whenever she doesn't understand something, she makes you feel uncomfortable and pressured, and it makes it even harder to explain, so she gets angrier, and it's just this big, vicious circle.

Time for a big rant!

For some reason, I always feel like I have to keep proving that I am responsible and old enough to understand everything, or get the "big picture." Because of this, I always get DRIVEN UP THE WALL when some one treats me like a kid, or tells me that I'm too young, or says that I wouldn't understand. I always feel annoyed when some one acts superior to me just because they're older. I hate it when some one lies to me or doesn't tell me something because they think I'm too delicate to handle the information, just because I've had a rough life so far. grown ups always treat me special and I DISPISE it. But really, all the drama that's happened has just made me just step into reality earlier. My friends don't feel this way, and I want to know just WHY. Like, one of my friends thinks that she can raise 10 grand to get a horse. Not going to happen. Some one else thinks that they're going to become a famous singer and tour the world, and cure cancer. (That
sort of speaks for itself)

I'm done! :D And just a heads up, don't you DARE say that I'm too young for this site. You and I both totally know that you lied about your age at least ONCE online.

So, thanks. I'd appreciate the help. (And I hope your eyes aren't hurting from reading this for so long. :P)
Thanks Nicole J. (: And yes..I think so...*counts*

And my question basically was: How an I talk to my mom without her biting my head off?
Thanks a lot. (= And I realize my mom (and everyone else! Except for Chuck Norris) is only human, but it's so easy to forget. Yeah, my parents are divorced. She owns a store and is always working, but some times she has a bad day there and lets it all out on my brother and me.

Thanks for all the answers, I didn't expect this many. (: And yes, I love to write. xD And I won't be offended, unless some one says flat out something like, "You're too young to know everything." or something like that. I'll probably write a letter to her or something in the end.

This is making me feel so much better, thanks for all the advice and encouragement, again.
 
I know how you feel, I think we have all been there, some sooner than others. You do sound pretty mature for an 11 year old, but please take my advice on this...I know it sounds corny, but I am 22 now and married with a child, and though I love my life, sometimes I really miss being your age. Don't try to grow up so fast. One day you will wish that people didn't come to you because they know you are old enough to understand. The "big picture" is probably referring to life away from home, bills, cars, children, things like that, and yes, I'm sure you know a lot about these things, but there are just some things that you can't completely understand the "big picture" unless you have actually been there (for example, ever tried to explain how great or aweful something at school was to your mom but they didn't understand the full extent? It's cuz they weren't there, hadn't done it themselves...it's the same concept) So maybe you are mature for your age, but please just treasure this time...go listen to the song "You're Gonna Miss This" by Trace Adkins...you remind me of the girl he is singing about.
 
Wow! Well first off I am sorry you are going through this! My Mom's Father my grandfather abused my Mom and all my Aunts when they were growing up and in return it made my Mom well....lets just say she had a temper and would always yell at me and my sister just like how you are describing. My best advise for you is that on a "good day" when she isn't mad about something and when it is just you and her just sit done and say nicely and calmly "Mom I want to talk about some stuff" It worked for me. When I tried to get her to understand me or listen while she was mad or yelling it never worked but when i got her on a good day everything worked out fine. I am 28 now and my Mom is my best friend. Yes you are young but you need to relise that your mom has gone through stuff and she is only human too. Again just sit her down on a day when there is no fighting and maybe it will work for you.
 
WOW, are you sure you're 11? You are a very smart kid, I don't think that you are at all too young to be on this site. If I were you I would show what you just typed here to your Mother. Or, if you think it's a bad idea and she will get mad, then just keep trying your best to be the mature one. Good Luck!!!
 
sounds like you're way too mature for your mom. sometimes, it's better just to take it when she dishes it. try not to get upset at the moment and just tell urself that she's only taking her anger out on you. sounds to me like you're doing nothing wrong.
as far as trying to change her attitude, you might want to try to approach her aobut it when she's in a good mood, not when you guys are in the middle of an arguement. if you don't feel like doing that, or don't wanna ruin a good mood (i dont blame you.) you might even wanna try writing her a letter. might sound a little corny but all you have to do, is calmy write down your thoughts and let her know how you feel. tell her you think she's awesome and everything (nice things can never hurt!) and then just leave it in her room or in the kitchen somewhere where she'll find it. i guess it's best ur not around when she's reading it this way she has time to calm herself and think through a response. (try giving it to her before you go to school?). i just think at your age (dont get offended!! i'm not calling you young at all, you're my brother's age and a lot more mature than him!) it's a crucial time to make sure the relationship with your mom is not too tense. it's the beginning of a long road and u guys should try to be strong!

hope this helps! good luck and don't let anyone tell you ur too young! (unless it's illegal?)
 
Sometime soon, when everybody has cooled off a little bit, ask your mom to set aside a time to talk to you (and also perhaps your brother, if you want). Once everybody is calm, start off by telling her that you love her.Then be as specific as you can-" Mom, when you (do whatever) I feel (however). Tell her specific ways that you are responsible. Then listen. You sound awfully aware for an 11 year old; articulate, too. Some unsolicited advice- keep up your writing (if you enjoy it).You are good at it.
 
Sorry to hear about the whole mom thing, how does your dad handle all of this with your mother, maybe get your dad to talk to her about this and how it makes you and your brother feel. and don't it feel good to get it all out there. I hope that this helped, but other then that, hope things work out for you =)
 
im in sixth grade whht skool not 2 get off da subject. did she just like now start. r ur rents divorced? that culd mean she have been going through stress. is she like still in skool or something like dat? stress. did some 1 die close to hur or do u have an older sibling that went to colledge or moved outa da house?
 
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