i need comments on my poem.. i need AS MUCH COMMENTS AS POSSIBLE!?

Suicide’s on your side

Suicide talking:

You say you have a heart
Well you stuck a knife in Ty’s
Can’t you see that everything was going really fine??
When you talked about her brother, you crossed the line
Don’t worry, little suicide is gonna be on your side

Chris talking:

But wait
Before I die
I wanna see if she’ll be at my wake
Because she said that she would care if I were to die
You don’t know how I feel I wanna break down and cry
This heart of mine is despised by all the hurts and the lies

Suicide talking:
But Chris I’m on your side
And I’ll be at your wake
Don’t worry about anything because I will decide your fate
We make a good combination like shrimp and steak
So I, suicide, is something that you will have to take


She doesn’t care about you
And you know that I’m keeping it real
She hates and she doubts you
This is exactly how she feels
So have no worries and just take these pills
Don’t you know that life on earth really kills??
But I’m the one you need to come after because I’m willing to heal
Just say yes and I promise you it will be a done deal

Chris talking:
It’s a done deal because I’m tired of living
I’m tired of being the suspect knowing that I’m the victim
Just tell my family that this gunshot was of my own infliction
This is it. I have no other choice but to give in
(Gunshots go off)
 
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