...good. 17y/o girl freaking out? til about 14years of age i was the'special'kid in class.ADHD/ODDto the extreme.aggressive and argumentative(still am)always getting into fights,never thinking about anyones feelings,trouble concerntrating n sitting still.my teachers always told my mum to have me tested for any kind of mental problem because everyone could tell that there were a few loose screws,but no one knew what to do.mum wouldnt get me tested because she thought that i was perfectly normal
at the end of yr 8(probs triggered by some traumatic experience)i became paranoid and anxious about everything.i still hesitate to go places in my city because of the people that i'll run into.i cant relax in public because i constantly think that people are after me.i even have a fear that there are people i've forgotten about who are going to randomly try and attack me one day unexpectedly.from the beginning of year 9 until 1/2 way through year 10 i was afraid to leave my house.i would walk to school with my mum on the phone to me the whole time,we didnt even talk,i just wanted her to be on the phone incase i was abducted.i literally freaked out everytime someone was walking/driving within100metres of me.i still have the diary of number plates that i wrote down because i wanted there to be evidence of who took me if i was abducted.i wrote down evry single car that drove past me when i was in public.if my parents went out,or if it was the holidays and my parents were at work,i would put the cupboard up againt the door and stay in there from the second i woke up til the second they got home.If I heard a sound I would think that someone was coming to kill me,i would freak out,start praying for my life and i would put my feet on the bed and push my back against the cupboard(while staying low because i thought thatthey might have a gun)that was for A YEAR AND A HALF..i was too afraid to leave my room to get food or go to the toilet let alone leave my house and make friends.
til the end of last year i was afraid of buses.you couldnt get me on public transport.i had no way of getting to training one day at the end of last year,so i had to get a bus to the mall,then a bus to my gym.i begged my friend to get a bus from her place in the opposite direction to the mall so that she could get on a bus with me from the mall back to her direction where the gym was.i figured out the exact bus times of how long id be waiting at the mall alone for her (it was like 6 minutes),so i made an ipod playlist of songs that added up to exactly 6 minutes.not 7 minutes, not 5 and a half minutes.i wrote down breathing exercises and phrases to repeat in my head to calm me down. those 6 minutes of waiting were hell4me. everyone that looked at me, walked near me, asked me which bus went where, i would take a mental note of their height,aproximate age,weight,eye colour,hair colour,distincitive features,clothes and things that theywere carrying.as soon as they walked away i would write it down because i thought that they were all trying to abduct/kill/rape me. i thought that EVERYONE was out to get me,even 12 year old girls that were just walking home from school. i thought that everyone could hear my thoughts, see me on some tv screen 24/7 and everyone was put on the earth to secretly spy on me/abduct me/kill me/rape me n enjoy watching me suffer. I questioned everyones motives, and couldnt trust anyone.life was so horrible and terrifying up until the end of year 10 because of these things that i thought were completely normal at the time.i was CERTAIN that EVERYONE was out to get me.<---does anyone have any ideas as to what illness this is?
end of year 10 i started smoking weed with some people all day every day to give myself something to do because i had missed out on 1 and a 1/2 years of my teenage years hiding from people, so i had few friends.
i destroyed my memory by smoking weed so much.i forgot all of my old thoughts,rituals and stuff about everyone trying to kill me.it wasnt until last night when a girl that i know told me about her symptoms and i was like dw about it,same thing happened to me,but a lot worse.then i wrote it down and described it and i was like oh shit is this stuff normal..
ive never been able to socialize with others because i was always the bossy/competitive/aggresive/leader.
I have been diagnosed with ADHD/OCD and anxiety.
Many people have also told me that i might have aspergers, psychosis, anti-social personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, paranoid personality disorder, ODD and bipolar. (obviously i dont have all of them)
psychosis/paranoia/anxiety/OCD run in my family
til last night, weed had totally erased my memories of the illness but i can already feel the thoughts and rituals coming back. i would like to get it treated because i really dont want to go crazy.
i need to know what its called, i want it fixed.
at the end of yr 8(probs triggered by some traumatic experience)i became paranoid and anxious about everything.i still hesitate to go places in my city because of the people that i'll run into.i cant relax in public because i constantly think that people are after me.i even have a fear that there are people i've forgotten about who are going to randomly try and attack me one day unexpectedly.from the beginning of year 9 until 1/2 way through year 10 i was afraid to leave my house.i would walk to school with my mum on the phone to me the whole time,we didnt even talk,i just wanted her to be on the phone incase i was abducted.i literally freaked out everytime someone was walking/driving within100metres of me.i still have the diary of number plates that i wrote down because i wanted there to be evidence of who took me if i was abducted.i wrote down evry single car that drove past me when i was in public.if my parents went out,or if it was the holidays and my parents were at work,i would put the cupboard up againt the door and stay in there from the second i woke up til the second they got home.If I heard a sound I would think that someone was coming to kill me,i would freak out,start praying for my life and i would put my feet on the bed and push my back against the cupboard(while staying low because i thought thatthey might have a gun)that was for A YEAR AND A HALF..i was too afraid to leave my room to get food or go to the toilet let alone leave my house and make friends.
til the end of last year i was afraid of buses.you couldnt get me on public transport.i had no way of getting to training one day at the end of last year,so i had to get a bus to the mall,then a bus to my gym.i begged my friend to get a bus from her place in the opposite direction to the mall so that she could get on a bus with me from the mall back to her direction where the gym was.i figured out the exact bus times of how long id be waiting at the mall alone for her (it was like 6 minutes),so i made an ipod playlist of songs that added up to exactly 6 minutes.not 7 minutes, not 5 and a half minutes.i wrote down breathing exercises and phrases to repeat in my head to calm me down. those 6 minutes of waiting were hell4me. everyone that looked at me, walked near me, asked me which bus went where, i would take a mental note of their height,aproximate age,weight,eye colour,hair colour,distincitive features,clothes and things that theywere carrying.as soon as they walked away i would write it down because i thought that they were all trying to abduct/kill/rape me. i thought that EVERYONE was out to get me,even 12 year old girls that were just walking home from school. i thought that everyone could hear my thoughts, see me on some tv screen 24/7 and everyone was put on the earth to secretly spy on me/abduct me/kill me/rape me n enjoy watching me suffer. I questioned everyones motives, and couldnt trust anyone.life was so horrible and terrifying up until the end of year 10 because of these things that i thought were completely normal at the time.i was CERTAIN that EVERYONE was out to get me.<---does anyone have any ideas as to what illness this is?
end of year 10 i started smoking weed with some people all day every day to give myself something to do because i had missed out on 1 and a 1/2 years of my teenage years hiding from people, so i had few friends.
i destroyed my memory by smoking weed so much.i forgot all of my old thoughts,rituals and stuff about everyone trying to kill me.it wasnt until last night when a girl that i know told me about her symptoms and i was like dw about it,same thing happened to me,but a lot worse.then i wrote it down and described it and i was like oh shit is this stuff normal..
ive never been able to socialize with others because i was always the bossy/competitive/aggresive/leader.
I have been diagnosed with ADHD/OCD and anxiety.
Many people have also told me that i might have aspergers, psychosis, anti-social personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, paranoid personality disorder, ODD and bipolar. (obviously i dont have all of them)
psychosis/paranoia/anxiety/OCD run in my family
til last night, weed had totally erased my memories of the illness but i can already feel the thoughts and rituals coming back. i would like to get it treated because i really dont want to go crazy.
i need to know what its called, i want it fixed.