I Made It Thru The Weekend!

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Secrets1983

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Hey everyone!

So... I made it thru this last weekend and I swear at times I didn't know how I was going to get thru it. (this was my first weekend in a year that I did not take any pain medication) However, part of me feels like it went better than anticipated. There were good times, bad time, times in between. But the most important thing is that it's Monday and I have been waiting for this day for a long time. I said to myself since this whole wean down program started if I could just get to Monday the 10th then I would be feeling much better. So it's the 10th.. I feel MUCH better. My body doesn't hurt all over and best of all... I don't feel jittery all over.. I swear.. that was DRIVING ME CRAZY!

Now, on to the depressing part... So now that my body feels better here is the down side. I have NO ENERGY at all.. I am struggling a lot more with missing the actual high than I thought I would.. The pills gave me so much energy and put me in such a good mood... Over the weekend I was so tired and depressed.. All I wanted to do was sleep.. My poor husband asked me if I had mono... So, when is this darn energy going to come back? SO.. now that the physical struggle with pain and w/d is pretty much all gone when can I expect my BRAIN and energy to function normally again? I have a feeling I have a longer road ahead of me than I thought but I know I am strong and with support I will WIN!.
Thanks for listening to me vent! I needed to get all that off my chest.
~Secrets
 
Hello Secrets

Way to go, Girl! Way to go.

Just keep taking it day by day, moment by moment if needed. Know that enrgy WILL return, although it takes time. We can help the time be less by doing some things... the most important is to move the body as much as you can. Walk around, take a walk, clean the kitchen... these were things I forced myself to do. The more physical we can push ourselves to be, the quicker the brain finRAB balance again and energy returns to the body.

The physical tiredness and the mental depression is a natural part of the progression of getting off opiates. Understand this and stay true to the course in knowing it. To help the depression, always stop and decide if it is the depression talking in your head or if it is a true and logical thought. The depression comes because in using the opiates, we let the drug take over some of the brain's function. Now we have to 'fake it until we make it' to get past this depressive phase. Force yourself to smile broadly, force yourself to sing out loud, force yourself to dance around your room. Listen to happy music even if it is the last thing you want to hear. Force yourself to talk to others. Talk to yourself even and chant your mantra. All these things help the br5ain to start producing serotonin and other 'happy' chemicals in our brains naturally. The same as we plod our way through withdrawal, we must plod our way through this depression and lack of energy. With all my heart, I tell you this will pass.

Everything that is being experienced is all a part of the process of recovery and restoration. Like after fighting the flu we find we have less energy and feel a bit down, withdrawal and recovery is the same.

Secrets, you are so on the road to finding yourself againn and being drug-free and happy. Stay strong.. ask all the questions needed as you walk along. The more knowledge we have about this, the greater our chances of success of overcoming ALL parts of it.

With a smile and a song for you
reach
 
keep on keepin on :)

day by day you're getting your life back.

well done so far. keep up the good work.
 
Thank you so much you guys!!!!

Reach, your response helped so much! I am so looking forward to a time when I am myself again. That will be so nice. WIth all of your guys' worRAB I know this day will come as long as I stay strong.
I laughed SO HARD about singing and dancing out loud... Making myself do those things does make sense. As I was reading the making myself smile wide I was sitting at my desk half listening to my boss drone on about having the flu over the weekend and I had a scowl on my face because I was thinking.. OH POOR YOU!! hahaha Okay, my pity part is now over.. hahaha But I was reading your post and half listening to him and when I read the part about smiling I thought to myself.. SHE IS RIGHT! Get with it.. It's not HIS problem you are an addict.. Stop making everyone pay for what you are going thru.. Cheer up and realize that this is your problem and you are going to fix this completely! So PERFECT TIMING REACH! THANK YOU!

It seems that right when I need to hear something.. SOMEONE on here says just what I need to hear..

You all have NO IDEA how appreciative I am to you. Terri, I am so glad you are hanging in there. We will all get thru this together!

Yossarian22.. thanks for being there for me too!!!! So far so good is right... Now we shall see how the rest plays out. I know it will be a learning experience that is for sure!

Thanks again to you all!
~Secrets
 
Hey Secrets, thats great to hear you made it through the weekend without an incident. My sister had her 40th bday party and there was booze there and everyone was having fun. I decided in the middle to go to a meeting, I felt good about making that decision.

I found that there's places I can't go (stalls @ work cause Id get hi there) and things I can't talk about. I even have a band that I can't listen to cause they remind me of getting loaded. These will pass in time, and if they don't, it won't sting as bad after a while. Im just wrapping up the day and thought Id check to see how you weekend went. Glad things for you are doing well

Take care
d
 
Her dorskin,

HOLY CRAP! What a GREAT decision you made.. I bet that was SUPER hard.. I think you are stronger than I am.

Today has been a really good day for me actually. I mean work was stressful as usual but that is nothing new.. My body felt good. FINALLY! The only complaint I have is this LACK of energy but I have been told that will come back.. So I am just holding out for that. I am truly proud of my progress and it's been a long time that I have felt good about myself. As you know... it's hard to feel good about yourself when you are popping pills left and right.

Here is a thought though.... and something I have not spoken about yet... I am concerned though that when I go to visit my Mom.. I know she always has a full bottle of oxycodone around becuase she NEVER takes it... anyways.. How in the heck am I going to not at least take 2? How horrible is that?? I feel sick even saying it.. First of all.. I HAVE NEVER been a thief in my life! Second of all... how about some self control??????? So.. am I just a wacko or are these things that go thru other addicts heaRAB?

Well, dorskin.. thanks for keeping in touch! I appreciate your honesty!
~Secrets
 
That oxy issue is a tough one indeed. You might consider letting them know, or just stay away. At least til you get a firm hold on your sobriety. One thought that goes through my head "how bad did I feel during withdrawal? Is it worth it?"

I wish you luck in your recovery

take care
d
 
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