i love writing poems, im 15, please comment.?

I thought your poem was lovely and really enjoyed it. I think you have a great talent there with words and descriptive writing, especially for your age. Keep going with it and let it develop further.
 
I thought your poem was lovely and really enjoyed it. I think you have a great talent there with words and descriptive writing, especially for your age. Keep going with it and let it develop further.
 
im not going to write about sadness or hate,
but about the person i love,you might even relate.
When you love her so much you would die in a flash,
when you see her around your heart turns to mash,
her beautiful face brings a smile upon lips,
her beautiful figure,from shoulders to hips.
everything about her makes you warm inside,
if you ever let her go you know you would cry.
Because in your eyes she defines perfection,
you will love her forever and be her protection.
For when she is down, you pick her back up,
winning her heart is like winning a cup,
You feel so proud,a moment to remember,
that you had her attention from july to december.
For in those months she made you strive,
without her your nothing,with her you're alive.

Thanks,im 15 and yanno i dont mind criticism,it improves my writing.
 
Try to keep a better flow with sentence length
Count sylables etc (beats in a word)

It just makes the whole thing flow better.

But the words are nice & the each line relates to the whole thing. The rhyming is effective and gives it a sing-song feeling, which is good since its quite a positive poem and you want the reader to feel the mood that you feel when you describe this girl.

All in all, i'd say 8/10, not bad for a first draft but if you improve it further post it again 'coz it sounds like it has potentiol to be a really good poem :)
 
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