I love to write poetry. heres 2 examples. What do you think?

cheesy

New member
The First Kiss

Here we are, just you and me
We sit here nervously under a tree
Wheels turning, Palms sweaty, hearts racing
Waiting for what weve both been embracing
Our first kiss, but nerves rapidly build
What if we bump noses? what if im unskilled?

Wishing these butterflies would just go away
Wondering, maybe we should wait for another day
Too late, we slowly but surely move close
as feelings of nerve and joy increasingly grows

I push her hair back, she gazes into my eyes
all those fears and nerves suddenly dies
Finally it happens, our lips come to a meet
Nothing has ever tasted so, so sweet

Our wheels stopped turning as we just went with the flow
Nothing was on our minds, except maybe a "Woah!"
Our lips caressing the others, so gentle and warm
It was surprisingly peacful, like the eye of a storm

The kiss was full of fire and passion
There was no tongue, so you can call us old fashioned
We're on cloud nine, the moment was as magical as can be
here we are, just you and me.



House of Mirrors

This shattered mind, a broken face
It hurts to be in such a wretched place.
With every turn its becoming clearer,
his distorted image in each and every mirror.

He once stood so tall and proud
but now an extra in the crowd
Hating to see this new reflection
nothing more than sheer imperfection.

twists and turns, discord and confusion,
searching for the answers to this illusion.
A closer look brings a single tear
its harder than he ever feared

This house full of lies and non clarity
in the end has provided complete verity.
having to face this harsh reality
knowing he is not far from normality.
 
I don't think you've realized your potential as a poet. These poems are very un-inspiring and boring. The rhyming is kind of annoying, and the first love poem is like a million poems I've read before.

So, read some famous poets, study them. And keep on writing. You'll get there.
 
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