S
Serina K
Guest
So I met this girl about three years ago and shortly after we told each we had feelings for each other. It didn’t really evolve beyond that, no handholding, no dates, no hugging. That “relationship” dissolved over time and ended about a year and half later. We remained close friends and still are. About four months after that she was asked to a dance by another guy and she said yes, and they’ve been dating ever since for a little over a year now.The problem is that I still have feelings for her. I know I can’t help it and shouldn’t get involved, but I also wonder if she might feel the same way. Sometimes we’ll stare at each other and one of us will look away and smile or we’ll make these weird faces at each other and we constantly tease one another. We have a large supply of inside jokes that we’ll throw at each other to the confused stares of others. Whenever we find ourselves walking together she doesn’t say anything, she just stares ahead and smiles until I say something. We have long chats into the night, but she also does that with her boyfriend and other friends who stay awake long enough so it’s probably nothing. Nothing major, but enough to make me wonder.Her boyfriend (who is nice, just protective) doesn’t like me because he thinks I’m a flirt (which I might be, I don’t pay attention to how I act around my friends but I would think that I’m just closer to my friends than other people are) and I also gave her a gift for her birthday. Nothing special, just a book and her favorite candy, and I gave it to her as a friend. He got mad and things got awkward so she wants to return it (not just because of him, but because she doesn’t think it’s right even though I told her my intentions) and I told her she could if she wanted to. I was going to get her a gift for Christmas before but then decided not to after seeing what happened. I didn’t think things would get awkward because my intentions were just friendliness.Now I can’t ask her if she likes me the way I like her or tell her about my feelings because it won’t accomplish anything but make things awkward. I don’t want to be the guy who gets between them but it seems like I accidentally stumble into those situations. So my first question is do you think she might like me?I’ve also decided to wait until/if they ever break up because she’s happy and I want her to be happy but I’m having trouble taking my mind off of her. I can’t just run after another girl because I’ll have no affection for them at all. So my second question is how do I move on or hide my feelings?If you have anything to say beyond these two questions then please do. I’m very confused by the whole thing. Sorry for the length, but I tried to include everything that might impact any answers.I also want to remain friends, which is why I don't want to make things awkward or just completely avoid her.
Right. It sounds like you both have a great friendship going and maybe it's better off that way. From what i've read you both sound like you have a perfect friendship. And i think she might like you, but she might be in denial about it.Because she has a boyfriend and you don't have a girlfriend, you notice how much you like her whereas she has her feelings spread out between two men and so they aren't as strong (but i'm sure she likes you. if she ever said no it would be because your friendship is so perfect and she doesn't want it to change).I think you should get her alone, and explain all of this to her. Explain your feelings and ask her how she feels about all of this. Tell her she doesn't have to respond, but has she wanted you as more than a friend (recently or whatever).By the way, don't expect the best answer possible, because if you don't get it it will hurt. Imagine a bad answer (it helps).Tell her it won't change anything you've got going and she doesn't have to respond to this, just find out how she feels. And try to get all of your questions answered, it's harder to bring up the subject later if you have something else you wanted to ask.Tell her to give you a straight answer and let you get over it (if it is a no, but i don't think it will be). Make sure everything is crystal clear for the both of you.Good luck but remember, you won't be needing it.