ethansmith918
New member
Three years ago my mother died when I was 12, along with a couple friends and other family members.
I've been depressed for three years.
I don't have motivation for my school work, my house chores, activities, my friends, etc.
I never had a girlfriend.
I'm pale and out of shape.
I'm constantly physically weak.
I also think over the years I've become some-what bipolar. Just the other day, I was (trying) to wash dishes, and I tried to ask my little sister for a favor or question and she completely ignored me and went outside and closed the door. I got mad, ran over to the door, and with my slippery hands from the soap, I couldn't open it. I threw the glass bowl across the living room, which shattered, and I screamed as loud I could. Just because my sister didn't hear me at first. I'm the same way with smacking from food. If I hear it I will seriously try to fight someone to make them stop.
I can't get any sleep anymore. I'm just wide awake. The only time I can sleep is during the day after school.
I can't find any activities that I'm good at. I don't have any talent. I bought a guitar, didn't have any motivation to play it, and never picked it back up. The same way with the piano.
I been thinking about buying some pot so I could just relax and be happy for once.
When I go to school, I seem happy. Everyone thinks I'm the class clown in a way. It's just a mask.
Over the past few months I've actually started to contemplate suicide if I never did anything with my life and didn't get a career and a wife and a kid. That's the only motivation I have left. To have a child. That's my last hope for anything.
I know I need help. I'm going to tell my father about it soon if this gets worse.
Do you have any advice for me? ( Don't give me that religious crap like "Just pray to JESUS CHRIST and everything will be OK!!". It's not going to help it's just going to p*** me off.)
Thanks.
I've been depressed for three years.
I don't have motivation for my school work, my house chores, activities, my friends, etc.
I never had a girlfriend.
I'm pale and out of shape.
I'm constantly physically weak.
I also think over the years I've become some-what bipolar. Just the other day, I was (trying) to wash dishes, and I tried to ask my little sister for a favor or question and she completely ignored me and went outside and closed the door. I got mad, ran over to the door, and with my slippery hands from the soap, I couldn't open it. I threw the glass bowl across the living room, which shattered, and I screamed as loud I could. Just because my sister didn't hear me at first. I'm the same way with smacking from food. If I hear it I will seriously try to fight someone to make them stop.
I can't get any sleep anymore. I'm just wide awake. The only time I can sleep is during the day after school.
I can't find any activities that I'm good at. I don't have any talent. I bought a guitar, didn't have any motivation to play it, and never picked it back up. The same way with the piano.
I been thinking about buying some pot so I could just relax and be happy for once.
When I go to school, I seem happy. Everyone thinks I'm the class clown in a way. It's just a mask.
Over the past few months I've actually started to contemplate suicide if I never did anything with my life and didn't get a career and a wife and a kid. That's the only motivation I have left. To have a child. That's my last hope for anything.
I know I need help. I'm going to tell my father about it soon if this gets worse.
Do you have any advice for me? ( Don't give me that religious crap like "Just pray to JESUS CHRIST and everything will be OK!!". It's not going to help it's just going to p*** me off.)
Thanks.