F
Fatally Functioning
Guest
It's a horrible cycle. Either I fast until I can no longer stand it so I binge, or I binge until I feel disgusting so I fast for days.
I have fucked up my metabolism because of this. This cycle is terrible, but I hate eating. I hate losing control of myself. I hate.. my weight. I just feel like it's the only thing I can control (school is extremely stressful. so many exams. so much pressure.) I love being lightheaded, and the pain in my stomach brings me comfort all too often..
I just feel like everytime I eat, I fail. I am not ridiculously skinny either. I'm average weight. So I hate telling people about my problem because they tell me "oh.. you don't eat? you don't LOOK like you don't eat". it's like my problem is belittled because I don't look like I have a problem.
I hate this cycle. but at the same time.. I love it. It brings me peace. yet so much pain.
has anyone been in this situation? how can I stop the binging? (i'm okay with just fasting hah..) but seriously. what do i do?
(oh, and don't tell me to see a counselor/therapist because that's not available at the moment. what can *I* do..by myself?)
I have fucked up my metabolism because of this. This cycle is terrible, but I hate eating. I hate losing control of myself. I hate.. my weight. I just feel like it's the only thing I can control (school is extremely stressful. so many exams. so much pressure.) I love being lightheaded, and the pain in my stomach brings me comfort all too often..
I just feel like everytime I eat, I fail. I am not ridiculously skinny either. I'm average weight. So I hate telling people about my problem because they tell me "oh.. you don't eat? you don't LOOK like you don't eat". it's like my problem is belittled because I don't look like I have a problem.
I hate this cycle. but at the same time.. I love it. It brings me peace. yet so much pain.
has anyone been in this situation? how can I stop the binging? (i'm okay with just fasting hah..) but seriously. what do i do?
(oh, and don't tell me to see a counselor/therapist because that's not available at the moment. what can *I* do..by myself?)