I need help with a sensitive subject.
I am 4 months pregnant, and I work with a lady who lost both of her children in a very tragic manner several years ago. Everyone is very supportive of her, but she's also a little off-balance, like anyone in her situation would be. She is also very, very pushy. For instance, she wanted to start rubbing my belly right away, which I let her do. And then she was constantly placing her hand on my lower tummy and informing me that "the baby's right here," like she was some sort of mystic. It's annoying and somehwat off-putting, but still, I just smile at her.
But then yesterday, she came over to my cubicle and demanded that I lift my shirt up and show her my belly. When I laughed and said no, she reached for the hem of my shirt, and I pulled away from her. I was a little upset, and I said, "Don't. The only person who gets to see that is my husband." She argued with me, and I just kept saying, "I'm not showing you my belly. This is dumb."
So, she started to cry and get more upset. She told me that I had to let her be a part of my pregnancy, that I was being slefish, that she was already really attached to my baby, and it wasn't fair to try to shut her out. Again, this is just a co-worker, and we don't even work in the same area of our large office. She told me I had to tell her now if I didn't want her around because it would already break her heart since she's so attached to my baby but it would be best to know.
I calmed her down and said she was taking things waaaay too seriously and way too far, that I wasn't being unreasonable about not wanting to go around the office showing my stomach to people. The truth is, though - she kind of scared me. To say the least, I found the whole exchange to be very creepy.
How do I draw boundaries with this woman without sending her over the edge? She is obviously very fragile and very unstable. I don't want to send her off the edge, but I don't want her around me OR the baby once born. She stresses me out too much. Can you please help?
Thanks!
I am 4 months pregnant, and I work with a lady who lost both of her children in a very tragic manner several years ago. Everyone is very supportive of her, but she's also a little off-balance, like anyone in her situation would be. She is also very, very pushy. For instance, she wanted to start rubbing my belly right away, which I let her do. And then she was constantly placing her hand on my lower tummy and informing me that "the baby's right here," like she was some sort of mystic. It's annoying and somehwat off-putting, but still, I just smile at her.
But then yesterday, she came over to my cubicle and demanded that I lift my shirt up and show her my belly. When I laughed and said no, she reached for the hem of my shirt, and I pulled away from her. I was a little upset, and I said, "Don't. The only person who gets to see that is my husband." She argued with me, and I just kept saying, "I'm not showing you my belly. This is dumb."
So, she started to cry and get more upset. She told me that I had to let her be a part of my pregnancy, that I was being slefish, that she was already really attached to my baby, and it wasn't fair to try to shut her out. Again, this is just a co-worker, and we don't even work in the same area of our large office. She told me I had to tell her now if I didn't want her around because it would already break her heart since she's so attached to my baby but it would be best to know.
I calmed her down and said she was taking things waaaay too seriously and way too far, that I wasn't being unreasonable about not wanting to go around the office showing my stomach to people. The truth is, though - she kind of scared me. To say the least, I found the whole exchange to be very creepy.
How do I draw boundaries with this woman without sending her over the edge? She is obviously very fragile and very unstable. I don't want to send her off the edge, but I don't want her around me OR the baby once born. She stresses me out too much. Can you please help?
Thanks!