I have a problem with my sister in law and mother in law...?

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wolf_lover

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ok ive been married for 7 years i have 4 kids. my husben is the oldest boy and my sister in law is the oldest girl she has two around my 2nds kids age. she had the first one at 15, now 23. She lives with her mom (my mother in law) with the two kids, there dad is a druggie. But when she was married to him he was the one that took care of the kids the best a druggie can. my sis in law works but dosnt pay rent or for food or anything, witch my mother in law cant always buy. she dosn't even help with the house chores, and it dosn't even seem to bother her when everone else is working around the house or buy her kids food. All she says is im hungry what is there to eat. not caring if her kids ate. she dosn't even buy her kids stuff like shoes except for like christmas or there birthdays. she is never home with them and when she is is asleep or not giving a crap what they do or are doing. my mother in law always watches them for her so she can go do what ever,, but fights us on watching ours. she expects us to just hand her food for the kids all the time and expects us to buy her things when my sister in law dosn't pay for anything. we dont even live with them and are having a hard time of our own. My sister in law always gets what she wants when she wants it and im getting sick of it. my husben and i graduated, he is almost done with college, and we just cant cut a brake. she didnt even graduated and now is gonna get married to someone who makes alot of money and owns his own home. when we live in a apartment. but that is if she can stay faith full to him witch i dought. my mother in law totaly favors my sister in laws kids. when she buys all the kids stuff she wont say what she go those two. I just dont know what to do or how to feel please help.......
 
Honestly, YOU can't do anything. Your husband is the one who needs to put a stop to this abuse, it's his sister and mother; you can't get in the middle of that because he'll always be the saint and you'll always be the bad guy. Talk to your husband about everything you've just written, explain how unfair it is for you guys to struggle while she gets off the hook, and how you don't appreciate your mother in law telling you how to raise your children. Then, your husband needs to talk to his family about changes that will need to be made: no more criticizing you on how you watch your kids and no more giving his sister everything just so that she can eat and sleep all day. Good luck.
 
you can not teach folk how to look after their own
so so what can we do
how can we change this
my mother in law scares me now and then
my sister-in-law is useless
your not alone - promise
surely all other side is hard work
inlaws are never easy
 
My family is pretty troubled as well. I'm the oldest daughter, and I went to college and moved away as quickly as possible. Now I have a wonderful fiance, and I kind of stay out of all the drama back home. My best advice is take care of you and your situation first. Don't meddle or worry about what your mother and sister-in-law do. If they ask for hand outs simply explain that you don't have the extra to give. Will they get upset? Maybe, but it's not you and your husband's responsibility to take care of them. If you continue to cater to them, it could put a strain on you and your family, and that just isn't fair! Good luck!
 
First, stop being so jealous of your sister in law. Her life doesn't sound so great. Second, do what you can to help out MIL, she is raising your children's cousins, the best she can. Hopefully the rich new husband will help with the kids as SIL seems to be quite the poor mother. I understand you feel put upon, but it isn't the children's fault.
 
It is tough now but in time she will see she was wrong. Be proud that you are doing everything for yourself and down the road when she needs you and your husband it will be fulfilling. As for the sister in law, she's only doing it because her mom lets her get away with it. Reality will set in at some point, and when it does it will be a wake up call. Hang in there! You will get through it.
 
Refuse to get involved with anything that pertains to them. Just concentrate on your own life.
 
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