I have a history of bad miscarriages... Should I keep trying?

A

amy

New member
This is a little long, but it all relates to my question at the end, so I ask for a bit of patience.

In early 2006, my husband and I decided to try getting pregnant. It took us six months to conceive and I lost the baby at eight weeks after a very stressful death in the family. This required a D&C, because my body refused to miscarry on it's own (even though there was nothing in my uterus.)

After that, I concieved fairly quickly (within three months), only it turned out to be an ectopic pregnancy which required surgery, heartbreak, painful recovery and the loss of part of one of my fallopian tubes.

My next was six months later, and I carried for five weeks before losing the pregnancy. Three months after that, another.

This most recent was concieved on my five-year wedding anniversary, and we found out I was pregnant on Christmas. I know this sounds stupid, but I felt like this was the lucky one... I carried to ten weeks before having a miscarriage. This also required a D&C.

I'd like to put in here that in each of the pregnancies, I ate right, excersised, stayed away from cat litter, alchohol and ciggarrette smoke, took my prenatal vitamins; in general, I tried to stay as healthy as possible.

With my most recent one, I was on doctor-ordered bed rest for two months, because of my history, but I tried to excersise my arms and legs (they said that would be okay, they just didn't want me standing or walking a lot.), and basically did whatever I was told.

They also ran tests because of the history, to find out if there was something wrong, and everything came out (surprise, surprise) completely normal. I *should* be able to have a baby, but it's not happening. And I know it's not my husband, because he's had two children from his previous marriage.

My question is this (sorry it took so long to get here): Are there any similar stories out there, with women who have miscarried several times and then carried to term? We're using protection right now, mostly because this whole thing has taken such a toll on our hearts, but I'd like to know if I should try in the future, or if I should just let it go.

Thoughts? Serious ones, only, please.

Thanks.
 
my sister had 2 before and she had to have something sewn together to hold the third one in, she told me that she didn't give up smoking during the first two so that was her reason anyway . besides that i have an awesome little 2 yr old nephew now smart little fellow
 
I would consider getting a second opinion from a fertility specialist. I know that you have been through the testing and they cannot find anything wrong, but sometimes it helps to have a second pair of eyes that specializes in the field go through it again. Something similar happened to a friend of mine, she ended up seeing a specialist who helped her to conceive, then monitored her carefully during the pregnancy - for a while she was on hormone injections to maintain certain levels, then admitted to the hospital for her last trimester. It was a long road but she now has a healthy baby boy.

I would also consider other options - surrogacy, adoption etc . . . I have another friend who struggled to conceive for 5 years including 2 miscarriages. She ended up participating in a workshop sponsored by www.resolve.org about loving your adopted child, realized that she would indeed love her adopted child and then adopted a little girl.

I also recommend counseling. My struggle with infertility was not as painful as yours, but we definitely struggled for years without being able to conceive and had one chemical pregnancy. I slipped into depression - completely normal, how you could you not? Ended up seeing a counselor that specialized in infertility and then participated in a women's workshop with women going through similar situations. It helped a lot to know that I was not alone and to plan our next move (which ended up being IVF). I learned to better deal with my pain, stress and relaxation technniques so that I could sleep and cope with things. Your doctor might be able to recommend someone.

My thoughts are with you!
 
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