snoflake241
New member
Okay, so alot of friends and family have invited me to dinner for the holidays. The problem is that I'm allergic to dairy. Whenever I try to explain that, they seem to think that I mean that I'm lactose intolerant, but I'm actually ALLERGIC to dairy. Sometimes they understand that I can't have milk, but they don't seem to get that I also can't have sour cream, cream cheese, ranch, etc. Or they use some type of seasoning without realizing that it has dairy in it (which I understand, I did this myself at first.) And then there's the well-meaning lady at church who keeps making me things with Lactaid milk. They also get confused because I can eat casein but not whey (two different milk proteins). So if they've seen me eat something that appears to have milk in it, they don't believe me. My reactions can be anything from hives and a severe headache to difficulty breathing. It's so miserable to endure (and I have the fear of experiencing anaphylactic shock) that I don't like to eat anything without reading the ingredients thoroughly.
So, my question is, how do I politely, but firmly get people to understand how serious this is? Without going into a long drawn out explanation? Would it be considered rude to ask what they used in the food and to read the labels if I'm worried that it has dairy? I could make a non-dairy dish and bring it, but most people I know find that very rude if they are making the meal? And is there a better way to explain my allergy so that they don't think it's lactose intolerance? I'm tired of people saying "Oh yeah, my aunt/mom/brother has that and says the stomach ache is horrible." It's NOT just a stomach ache that I'm worried about.
I really don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, because I know that they are trying to be nice, but I just can't eat dairy. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated!
So, my question is, how do I politely, but firmly get people to understand how serious this is? Without going into a long drawn out explanation? Would it be considered rude to ask what they used in the food and to read the labels if I'm worried that it has dairy? I could make a non-dairy dish and bring it, but most people I know find that very rude if they are making the meal? And is there a better way to explain my allergy so that they don't think it's lactose intolerance? I'm tired of people saying "Oh yeah, my aunt/mom/brother has that and says the stomach ache is horrible." It's NOT just a stomach ache that I'm worried about.
I really don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, because I know that they are trying to be nice, but I just can't eat dairy. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated!