After a while the self pity thing gets old even for your loved ones. They would like a life too. You get so tired of trying to help the people who don't want to be helped. WTF else do you want your parents to do? Leave you be to try again? If you want attention try the drama club. Killing yourself isn't hard if you really want to suceed you will. Instead of whacking yourself get help or at least tryto find help. Courage is doing the right thing even when you don't want to. Guess what isn't the right thing?