I got bored and I like writing poems.What do you think of it?

Drifting
From cloud to cloud
Feeling weightless
Searching for you

From above I feel nothing
From below I feel strong
Emotions course through me
Happy,sad,mad,but most of all loneliness

I am lonely
How do I get rid of this?
This hunger to die
This anger for my lies

Who cares what you think
No one can make this a better world!
Something I found a long time ago
Wondering off like a stray doe

Can't there ever be peace?
For at least a year
Where we can come home
To our mothers,fathers,sisters brothers?

No lies are told
No angry leaders here
Where is the peace?
The peace you promised us?

But instead you kill us off
One by one
Letting them die
Just so you can have your pie?

Well,You do that.
But I will never kneel before you
Your just a coward
I'd squash you like a gnat

If I ever had the chance!

Wow I think this poem got off topic.But,it's my fault.Someone had told me they wanted to see more emotion in my poems,well here it is!!
 
its good....i like it...
but somethings wrong with these lines:
From above I feel nothing
From below I feel strong

and the ending :I'd squash you like a gnat
If I ever had the chance!

well it kinda ruins the mood of your poem... mayb replace them with some seious lines?...

but it's obvious you've got talent...good work
keep it up.... :D
 
its great...you can make two poems out of one....

it gets lost in the middle because the topic changes...

nice to see your spending your spare time on something great...
 
hahaha slightly rambling... seems to go from a girl crushing to a soldier in war to a person who hates the prez...

however, i like lines 1, 11, 19, 21, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, and 30 :)
 
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